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Help! with grammar?
04-08-2014, 09:19 PM
Post: #2
Mircat Offline
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As I waited for my parents (no apostrophe) ....

tears do not run down cheeks like sprinkled holy water. Very bad analogy. Find something else.

Why would a prayer be meant to "break" you? What does that mean? If I'm the reader, I have no clue what you are trying to convey. Use a different word or explain it.

As time passed, (insert comma) I slowly...

When I was six, (insert comma) religion and social......

for my obsession because (remove the comma after obsession)

I did not understand either one (replace the word neither with either)...
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Messages In This Thread
Help! with grammar? - Estefania - 04-08-2014, 09:17 PM
[] - Mircat - 04-08-2014 09:19 PM
[] - Jakob - 04-08-2014, 09:23 PM

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