Found out today my boyfriend of a year likely cheated on me. Devastated and need to end this. Help me out?

[Sarah]

People can be such dicks on here ... Girls, fyi, marriage isn't the 'be all' of relationships. There are many people out there who are in a committed, loving relationship for YEARS (I'm talking decades) who never got married. So don't tell me that just because you're boyfriend and girlfriend, doesn't mean you can't be committed. Sometimes, getting married actually RUINS the relationship. (Wonder why divorce rates are so high?)

Anyway, what I would've done is told him the truth -- catch him in the lie right then and there, when you had the proof. Tell him, "I snooped your phone and seen the messages you sent her ..." I know you feel bad about snooping, but he basically did wrong to you too by (essentially) cheating. I know you're unsure if it happened physically, but the point is he did it mentally/emotionally, and sometimes that's just as bad. Mind you, you've dropped it now, so it may be harder to prove it now. Especially if he's deleted the messages now just in case. But he needs to know that YOU know. You know what you seen on his phone, and that's all the proof you need. I know this is hard to deal with and accept, but if he's trying to be with another girl (especially one online), then he's not going to stay committed to you. You seen headstrong in the fact of realizing who your boyfriend really is, even in the amount of shock you're currently in. Stay on that path. Don't fall into any cope that he says like "its just my head. I need you and love you". He doesn't need you, and he clearly doesn't love you. If he did, he wouldn't have done that with a messed up mentality or not. Love is a different part of the brain. I know its hard, but don't fall back into him. Trust me, the future will not look good.

Don't let this deteer you away from other guys, though. There are some out there that will love you, and follow you through hell and back. Don't think this is the end! Its just the beginning for you, and you will come out even stronger once you've moved past this 'mistake'. Keep your head up!