I should ask this lady for coffee but I'm kinda terriffied.?

[TRish]

I can understand why this seems scary for you, but I think that you should conquer your fear and go for it!

The first thing you have to do is think positive. If you believe that the date will go badly, then more than likely it will. Also remember that life throws us curve balls all the time, so even when we have the best intentions, things sometimes don't work the way that we want them to. It is in those times that you find out which women are worth your time, because of how they deal with crisis. Remember also that if someone really likes you, doing or saying something out of the ordinary is not going to stop them from seeing you. If the date was going otherwise well and you spilled a drink on her and that was the last date, chances are there were other things that she didn't like about you as well.

You can also 'warn' her ahead of time through humor; for instance, if your hangup is being clumsy and you all are considering going out for drinks, in a prior message or phone conversation, you could say something like, "I know that men usually pay on the first date, but as clumsy as I am, it may end up being 'drinks on YOU!'" I know that sounds cheesy, but it's just an example. Everyone knows that all humor holds at least ten percent truth.

Finally, as strange as this may seem to you, think of her standpoint when you ask her out for coffee; she may have hangups and insecurities, too! As women we all get a little nervous when we are asked on a date and hope that we won't say or do anything stupid, either, no matter how confident we seem! It is a chance for both of you to reconnect as adults and at the very least develop a lasting friendship, so don't let high school hangups ruin your chance at happiness. If you don't go, you'll never know!

I wish you the best of luck and hope that this gives you a more positive perspective when making your decision.