my daughter is 3 hasnt had mmr shot yet?

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Factually, no you don't - you can call it religious exemption or something.
Also factually, that would be a terrible decision. Vaccines don't cause autism, but they do drastically reduce the chances that your child will contract a life-altering or life-ending disease. You should be scared right now that she's going to get the measles. It's also an extremely selfish decision to make - the main reason your daughter hasn't contracted anything yet is because of herd immunity- what this means is, you're riding on everyone else's vaccinations but lowering the herd immunity by not adding to it.

Autism appears to be genetic. One thing that is certain is that boys are far more likely to have autism than girls. So the fact that your second child is female is a great sign. I do understand not wanting your child to become autistic (I have two autistic children), but there is SO MUCH evidence that MMR does not cause autism, not vaccinating is a really dumb move. The fact that a lot of kids in your family are autistic strongly suggests that autism runs in your family. Because the majority of kids who get MMR do NOT have autism.