What do you think Jesus's Facebook would look like? Like his Status, Groups, Birth Place, and Bio/about me?

[chickunsoup]

his statuses will look something like this:
"hey guys, just got back from chillin with my boys Mark, Luke, and Matthew.. I don't fxck wit that fool Judas no more. fake as hell. Him and Peter just gonna kiss me on my cheek and deny me like that."
or
"Just got home from chillin with my boo, Mary Magdalene. Her sexy azz.. haha"
or
"Had a busy day today. Healed the sick and made the blind see. Man everybody keep asking me to do all these favors like heal them... like i'm Jesus or something. Oh wait! haha. this one chick talkin bout she been bleeding for bout 12 years straight. i said ewwww.. you aint got no tampons? she said no. so i just went ahead a healed her... n gave her a lil bar of soap too ya feel me.. cuz uhhh.. yea! haha"
or
"once again, people keep asking me favors man.. talkin bout yo Jesus, you got some food i can eat and i'll pay ya back? i said man i can hook u up with 2 fish and 5 loaves. i work at the seafood market downtown i got u bro!"
or
"Man all these haters talkin bout crucifying me but it's all good. My heavenly father got my back ya dig."

Birth place: Bethlehem in a smelly old manger..
bio/about me: i'm real cool. i like to heal the sick and the blind (u can call me Dr. J.. haha).. i like to chill with my boys aka Disciples... if u need anything just hit me up 1-800-jesusrox. dont call with that B.S. or imma hang up on ya..like i said if u need some food i got ya i work at the seafood market downtown i'll hook u up with some fish n bread..