Im 16 and lesbian in the closet... I REALLY need someone to talk to cuz NOBODY knows that im lesbian... :(?

[iLikeHeroes]

Im 16 and lesbian in the closet. I used to think that I'm straight and when i was 12 (7th grade) , I fell in deep love with a boy for 2 and a half years. Unfortunately he broke my heart and i cried every single night for two years. It was the worst feeling i ever witnessed in my life! So the next year he left the school (when i was in 8th grade). I thought of committing suicide because i couldn't bear the pain at that time. But then a new girl come into my class and she was really cute and hot. So I got interested and I got friends with her. As time went by, we became best friends and she was really caring and a little touchy (but not in the boobs, pussy or anything pervert). She held my hands, she stood really close to me (almost like hugging near), lied her hands on my thighs during class, always smiling and laughing, and she even requested relationship on facebook (i accepted her), back hugs while waiting in the line cafeteria and she even kissed me once etc. I felt suspicious, i thought she was lesbianish but i wasnt sure. We talked about our boyfriends and how they hurt us and we both cried lol. The next thing i knew was I felt in love with her, I started to smile and think of her before i slept instead of crying. I was really happy. But as time went by she changed by bit by bit. She started putting make-ups, wear hot clothes and take pictures everyday and upload on fb. She became beautiful everyday but she started to smoke and drink. She talked about it. I was deeply in love with her. So I began to question my sexuality. She then became really slutty-ish and she stopped being interested in me because she met another girl in her class and she was damn hot and social and pretty-ish. So she basically changed her and she stopped talking to me and she started to look really really different. and so i was heartbroken. i took lesbian tests (internet), the results says im lesbian and bi. She is now moved to another country and i fell in another girl while i was feeling really hurt and she also healed me. The new girl was really beautiful but not so hot but truly attractive to boys and girlzz. But she also hurted me and now i have a crush on a different girl and the recent girl started flirting with her.
So anyways i never told ANYONE about my sexuality and falling in love hopelessly and so stupidly after another. I really can't take it anymore because i started to think about girls and their body and I CANT STOP!! i really dnt like being lesbian and all. But i wanna tell someone, but every single things in my life is at RISK!! I feel like im gonna explode!!! I wanna tell people and stop falling in stupid, hopeless nd heartbreaking love again! Why are girls so beautiful??!!?!? At first i hated being lesbian and i wanted to deny it so bad but i cudnt change anything.
PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO ANSWER AND TALK ABOUT IT!!!
P.S. and i also want gay or lesbian or bi friends to know what it feels like to be... u noe... this (im kinda upset at myself)