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So many emotions. Just need to let it out?
11-09-2012, 11:37 AM
Post: #1
So many emotions. Just need to let it out?
I feel like a complete failure. Im a freshman in university and I feel like I screwed up everything!
I have a huge procrastination problem and I cannot stop watching youtube videos or surfing facebook. This led me to study last minute for like two tests and I got an 80 in both of them (terrible when there are people in my class that got like 90s and 100). Also a 76 on an essay. Im eating a lot and I have gained weight and I feel terrible about myself. I tried out for executive positions on campus clubs but only got one (and my leader recently had a talk with me about how Im not doing a good job in my role). I need to get more involved but I dont know how. I need executive positions on clubs if I want a shot at getting a work placement next year.
I live on campus an hour away from home because I was stupid enough and loafted during senior year and didnt get into my top choices for university that were close by. This means my parents are spending more money on me than they should have. They bought me a new laptop this summer despite their financial condition being not that good, simply because they wanted me to do well in university. I miss them terribly and I feel like Im being an awful child just wasting their money on me. My mom got me some new clothes today when she came to visit. Their financial condition is not goof but she got it for me to make me happy.
I also have a hard time making close friends. Its easy for me to strike up conversations with people but its hard to maintain relationships and become close with them. I could study with people everyday (that way I could socialize and study) but I get verryyyy distracted in groups. However its not like Im studying when Im at home.

I had such big dreams when I got into university. Now I see people who are way more involved in extracirriculars, way smarter and way more social than me. And here I am. I feel like Im going to amount into nothing.

My parents have done SOOO much for me to get to this place. I feel terrible being so awful and wasting their money. Its not like I dont want to study. I just have a very bad procrastination and an internet addiction.
I dont know what to do.

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Messages In This Thread
So many emotions. Just need to let it out? - Yay me :) - 11-09-2012 11:37 AM
[] - Liz - 11-09-2012, 11:45 AM
[] - Court - 11-09-2012, 11:45 AM
[] - Pastor Ken - 11-09-2012, 11:45 AM
[] - Jelly Bean - 11-09-2012, 11:45 AM

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