I've been considering suicide?

[Gary]

Alright here goes. I'm 15 years old, in grade 10. I had a happy childhood, but since grade 8, I've been thinking of commiting suicide and ending my pathetic life.
Over the past 2 years my life has been consistently getting worse. Everything I do, I fail at, either in the short or long run. I get terrible grades in school, even though I want to go to university to study business, or go to film school. But I never end up getting the marks I need, and I'm running out of time.
I'm also bullied at school, by three people in particular, but other people pile on. Lets call them Kevin, Connor, and Daniel, and my life is being ruined.
Kevin is ridiculous. He's not popular at ALL. He has no friends, but he thinks hes the ****. People laugh at what he says, but they laugh at him, but he doesnt realize that, and keeps on going "YEEEEEEEE GARY CH CH CH HASHTAG (RANDOM GIRLS NAME HERE) EVERY ******* DAY. That among other things, and he wont stop.
Then there's Daniel. He's my "friend", but cares so much about popularity that he talks about me every day in class, laughs at me, imitates me badly, punches me, and annoys me. I don't like him, but if I lose him as a friend, I wont have many left. And it wont help, he'll keep on doing it.
Then Connor, the worst of the three. I have 4 out of 8 classes with him, and whenever he sees me do something he can consider stupid or funny, he doesnt let it go, ever. I hear him talk about how much of a ****** I am, even in the classes we have together, as if I'm not even there. He punches me, lowers my self esteem in any way he can think up, and the bad thing is, unlike the other two, he's getting straight A's, so I can't think that "oh well it's not like hes going anywhere in life anyways"
Other people pile on too whenever one of those three start up.
Now possibly the worst part is, my brother. My horrible brother. First off, he has a girlfriend (a hot one actually), he has a lot of close friends unlike I do, getting straight A's in school, our family always talks about how much they love him. None of those qualities apply to me. I'm the exact opposite in every way. And he's better than me in everything, and he likes to show that off. He treats me like I'm nothing. Always states how I'm never going to go far in life (I want to produce, direct, and write screenplays of horror movies), he punches me every day even when my dad yells at him to not do it, he annoys me, always makes me feel stupid, and at the end of the day I always go to bed feeling angry. And he thinks he's a great brother. After the **** I take in school, it be nice to go home and forget about that, but I can't.

HELP ME, because this might be the end.

[Bralyn Annalise]

Don't do it. Think about all the people that do care about you. Think about how sad they'll be.

[Tom]

life is tough, but FUCKING SUCK IT UP! millions of children in Africa are starving! no food no nothing! and they still strife to survive! with one purpose! LIFE! The most important thing in the World IS LIFE!

[Pancake Monster]

Nonono please don't !!!! Omg I've known so many people that have considered it, but have not done it and we're very grateful they didn't! And I also know people that have. For close to the same reasons as you. And even though they didn't feel loved, when they died LOTS of people missed them. Same for you. This might sound kinda creepy but I don't even KNOW you and id still be very upset if you died if you ever are really close to it call for help!!! And just think before you do anything. Promise me you won't kill yourself, okay? you're still so young and it may suck now but it'll get better. You've still got like 60 years to live bro!!!

[DrainTheHippos]

Oh my gosh, this sounds very similar to what I was going through in 10th grade. I'm currently in 12th grade. I felt the same way you did. It all went down hill for me after 8th grade. I hated 9th grade and 10th grade was even worse. I was cutting myself and I had one friend, only one friend and that one friend was also cutting herself and almost as depressed as I was. She made me feel even worse about myself. I felt so alone and was really suicidal. One day i actually went through with it, I overdosed on advil. I ended up going to a treatment center and was diagnosed with Depression and BPD. I was in treatment for a while and it helped a bit. When I got out of treatment I was still kinda depressed. It took me two years to actually recover from everything. I started going to therapy and that helped me alot. I started to hang out with people who actually cared about me and felt better about myself. I even stopped cutting myself. It's been two years since I overdosed and now looking back on it makes me sad to think I actually wanted to kill myself. I would have missed out on so much. I have now come to realize that I mean alot to people and that I matter.Please don't commit suicide, you have so much to love for. Everything will get better, yeah it won't happen overnight, but you can only go up from here. Get a therapist or talk to someone who can help. Suicide is not the answer it never is. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here. I've been at rock bottom and I feel for you. it sucks it really does but you're worth so much.

[Mayra Herrera]

Ok so heres the thing. I had a really baf childhood. My family not giving me attention. Just deprrssion and all that stuff and so much responsibility on myself. I had 2 suicidal attempts and none of them worked out so i decided to take the s*** fot a lil more. Then at school i decided to talk to the counselor. Then everything was going great at home until one night we ran away from home and was going to suicide but my frend helped mr out and instead i went to sleep at some lady's house. Then the next dayy my counselor talked to mer and i was honest with her and i told her i was gonna kill myself. So then she was concerned and she told me that if other people dont care bout me she does so then next thing i knew i was licked up in a mental hospital which is like jail to me and didnt spend thanksgiving with the family and it was sad, when i came out everything was different but my advice here is to not commit suicide cause it wont lead you nowhere. Instead talk to someone or simply tell those 3 kids that you dont like what theyre doing even if you look like a pussy or simply step up to them and bout yohr bro, tell him or try to talk to him but suicide is just not right. Trust me ivr learned that. I tried to overdoze, i stabbed myself trying to bleed to death and run into traffic hoping someone would hit me or kidnap me but those thoughts just are badd. Use some coping skills. Music. Read. Write. Dance. Sing. Whatever and trust me once you talk to someone and they see how serious it is they' ll help out. But please just dont end up in the mental hospital and dont give those bullies the satisfaction of seeing you sad and knowing that they "killed u" be strong and dont be another one of those 100 of kids that are commiting suicide cause of bullyi.g. and i know this is long but follow my advice and stay strong c: <3

[Peter]

Listen here buddy, read carefully, honestly, theres no reason for you to consider suicide, being bad at school isn't the last thing in the world, its not like your the only one in this world that isn't academical, i just finished year 12, so I'm waiting for my results and waiting for university offers etc, and I'm not smart either so im not exactly looking forward on getting my results, I'm just good at design so im going to chase design, so don't get worried about not being smart, and if you want to succeed just keep putting in more effort into your work and you will increase your grades.
Your saying you want to go to film school so I'm assuming you want to become a actor or something along those lines, my friend wants to as well (seriously not bullshitting) his not very smart either, his probably like me, and his has an agent for acting, so that will help him get into acting, so consider getting an acting agent so that will help you find a role in a show or film etc. Also your only 15 dont give up if you dont get into acting when your young. Also my friend told me this.

"Heath Ledger never took a class or course for acting and look at what he achieved, my old acting teacher spent 3 years at a prestigious acting academy 5 days a week 9-5, and look what hes achieved"

What he means by this is that you don't need to go to university or an acting school to become big in film, you just need talent and you need to show them, if your good at it dont give up and do whatever it takes to get it.

As for those bullies, they can go fuck themselves, tell the teachers so they can help, the one that you called 'friend', ditch him, and you said you wont have many left, but in reality you only really need 1 or 2 friends, as i said i just finished school and basically everyone is to themselves, i only speak to a few of my friends regularly the others not really and theres a lot of them, so dont stress about friends you only really need 1 or 2.

Your brother isnt the best brother, but trust me everyone has one in there family, one of my brothers is annoying too, he jokes around too much and is annoying, but his your brother and the end of the day, same blood, talk to him privately and explain to him that what he says isnt nice and tell him to please stop, also tell your parents, because no parents wants their son to be sad and down, im sure they can help, its family you guys can work it out, everyone in the family is good for specific things, you cant expect everyone to be good at everything, you just having found what your good at yet, you said you want to do film so im sure that you can succeed in that, maybe thats where you will excel at, and trust me people will envy you once you do. As for a girlfriend, who gives a fuck, its nothing, your still young, you will find the right girl for you trust me. I think thats all i have to say , please dont do anything stupid, and if it doesnt work out, and hopefully it does, seek some help from other people (police etc) chase your dreams, dont let ANYONE push you down.

[Shannon]

First of all, TOM is a MORON!! Screw AFRICA OK! There are people starving in the USA and you shouldn't be telling anyone to SUCK IT UP!! Sorry for going off the subject but he pissed me off!! I know how frustrating it is being a kid especiall high school. People push people around because they want to either see you be able to laugh at yourself and not be so serious, or because they are rough housing, teasing like most guys do, or they are just trying to pick on someone who subconsciously reminds them of how passive or weak they feel at home or somewhere. Suicide IS NOT going to do any good because that would mean that you allowed the devil to destroy your family forever and that's what he wants. It is the domino affect, someone hurts you, you hurt yourself, this hurts your parents and family, they take things out on others and on and on...... Don't give up!!!!!!!! I am still battling and I am 36!!!!!!! Yeah, like you, I'm up searching for clues online!!! Well, I am proud of you for having dreams, go for it!!! At least you care enough about the issue to seek assistance!! GOD BLESS!! laugh at yourself a little!! It is NOT a race!! Relax.

[Hannah]

Have you already told your teachers, the school director or anybody at your school who holds a position of power about your bullies?
You might be thinking that complaining about it to your superiors would make you weak, immature or anything like that, but it certainly does not. Life is a wonderful thing when it is lived to the fullest, and so if these kids are a hindrance to your full enjoyment of life it is fully understandable and in no way childish to take the appropriate measures so as to bring back happiness into your life.

Yes, it can be perceived as a sign of weakness to not solve everything by yourself, but so what? What's the point of wasting precious time of your life that you're never getting back trying to be super strong by standing alone and suffering when it all turns out to be so hard for you to bear when you can just let others help you and savour your life? We all have our weaknesses. And there's nothing wrong with that. Seek help, talk about your feelings to the school counselor or any other therapist.
You might think there's nothing they'll be able to do about it, but you won't know that until you'll have actually seen one. It's their job, so have some trust in their ability to do what they've studied and are getting paid for.

If you don't perceive yourself as weak, but are scared of your bullies viewing you as such and thus viewing you as an easy target, I think you are to take more account of the fact that most people aren't 100% bad (or good), if they were to know that they're making you suffer to the point you're now struggling with suicidal thoughts, it might confront them with their horrible behavior, make them realize that they are actually KILLING you and stop. This applies to your brother too. Have you ever had a serious talk with all of them about your feelings?

If you think these guys are so heartless that they wouldn't budge despite knowing how you truly feel, maybe you should focus yourself more on changing YOUR behavior instead of theirs. Why do you let them get to you?
You wouldn't believe the mentally challenged man who calls you a zebra because, firstly, the fact that he's mentally ill would discredit him and make him an unreliable source of self-knowledge to you and secondly, even if he weren't ill, you wouldn't believe him since it'd be so obvious with one glance at yourself that you are no freaking bush animal.
Likewise, the fact that they are jerks and are purposully seeking to destroy you skews the vision they have of you and makes them treat you with bias, which means you shouldn't consider them a reliable source either and let what they do and say affect your self-esteem and self-image that much. You should instead have the self-confidence to look at yourself and just KNOW that they are talking nonesense when telling you you're stupid and brush it off.
YOU have the choice, the power to let some things affect you or not.

Don't try to lift yourself up by putting others down, which you seem to be trying to do when wanting to be able to tell yourself that Conor "isn't going anywhere". He is going somewhere, but this shouldn't matter to you. No need for jealousy or whatever, just let him live his life without caring and expect him to let you be too. Likewise, stop comparing yourself to your brother. Maybe he is better than you in many things, but so what? Good for him. Life is NOT a competition, so live at YOUR own pace. Not your brother's or Conor's. YOUR.

That means you've gotta accept yourself, your strengths and weaknesses and the fact that you can't do more than your best. Work with what you've got. Maybe you fail not because you can't succeed, but rather because you aren't doing things the right way. Maybe you're using a studying method that works for others but doesn't suit you (hence the insufficient marks) and should look for another one. Embrace your uniqueness.
Those, too, are things you should discuss with the school counselor.

Some people have wanted to live, but couldn't because of illness, poverty, etc. You have the chance to be able to live however, so instead of considering the permanent solution to a temporary problem that is suicide, seek productive solutions. Solutions that will make you able to relish the delicious gift that life is.

With that said, I'm wishing you tons of good luck and strength in the future!

[Princess Hope]

My sis... it's not important what others think about you... but what you think about urself, if you think you're strong and capable of being the best, you'll be.

you shall know every one is here on earth for a reason, so find out why u r here!

and, thinking positive of yourself is your motive, not ur mom or dar or ur grades in school.

it doesn't matter if others appreciate u, it's enough that u appreciate urself!
so don't be sad if u lost this annoying friend.. u'll just gain many if u restored ur self-confidence. be the way u r, don't just be a copy of others, you'll manage, but in ur own way!