Should I stay or should I go?

[Berry]

I'll make this as quick as possible so that I don't waste your time. I am posting this question in this section to get mature advice from experienced adults so I appreciate your insight and wisdom.

I am a 21 year old female; my boyfriend (also 21) and I have been dating for 3 years. From the very beginning of our relationship, I have always been unsure about him. After one year, I transferred to another college and we have been in a LDR since. Over the past 14 months, I've fallen more in love with him. I genuinely care about him so much. We talk about moving in together this summer upon graduation.

However, I still find myself unsure. This is very selfish of me, but there are so many things about him that erks me. He is obsessed with social media; he's constantly checking his Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook via his iPhone every 10-20 minutes. I wish I was exaggerating. He has bad hygiene-- wears the same pajamas to bed for weeks at a time, goes months and months without changing his sheets, and his breath smells awful even an hour after he brushes his teeth. He is obsessed with sports-- I swear he cares more about his favorite teams than he does about me, because whenever we're together, he's constantly checking updates on his phone even though we only see each other once a month for about 1-2 weeks at a time.

He's incredibly loyal, passionate, and supportive. So I feel so selfish for focusing too much on his flaws, but it's so hard to look past them. He knows NOTHING about the real world. He doesn't even know how to change a tire on a car, or the oil, and he can't do things around the house. I don't know what to do because I know he has great qualities of a lover, but I feel like I'll never be completely happy with him. It may just be me though-- maybe I am the problem. I am very neurotic and emotionally unstable.
It's probably important to mention that I have confronted him about my concern with his social media use while he's with me-- I tell him I wish he would spend more time with me instead of being so engulfed in his phone and he gets mad and tells me I'm criticizing him. He doesn't get defensive about other things, just this.
I am hesitant to leave him because he is such a great guy and I don't want to hurt him. He doesn't deserve to be hurt. He's so passionate and supportive and hard working. I just wish it wasn't this hard to be happy with him. This is why I think the problem is me.

[Delores Sanbourne]

Why are you trying to convince yourself to stay with someone you're unsure about? If he was for you, you wouldn't be counting the reasons to leave him. Just leave him and find someone you actually can't live without.

PS- You're not doing him any favors by staying with him because you don't want to hurt his feelings. He may be a good guy, but he clearly isn't the guy for you. The problem is only you in that you're not being honest with yourself or him about your feelings.

[Sue]

He probably has a network addiction. His flaws don't seem big or uncorrectable.

[RobertRay]

I think if you stay with someone who possesses so many traits that bother you, eventually it is going to take its toll on you. You can't convince yourself to be 100% happy with someone you are not and these things about him are probably not going to change. Many years ago I tried to rationalize staying with someone who had so many good qualities by looking beyond the things that bothered me about her but it didn't work because those things continued to bother me.

[freedom fighter]

follow your heart, what does it tell you?

[Nina]

Mm the fact that you are unsure and that you actually wrote this question means than you should find someone else.another solution is to follow your heart.