Is it appropriate to ask your family to de-friend ex on facebook?

[jellybeancutiepie]

Especially if the breakup was not amicable and 5 years have passed. My sister and brother are friends with my ex husband on facebook and I believe they were friends with him before the breakup; however, my ex JUST friended my mother on facebook a few weeks ago....AND SHE ACCEPTED!

I asked my mother to remove her friendship with him, and she said SHE WOULD do it since my ex was a jerk to me after the relationship ended. BUT, my mom has NOT defriend him....it has been several weeks since she agreed to do that.

I am planning on talking to my brother and sister as well in a little while, but now want to confront them as a family unit.

Am I asking too much? Is it wrong of me to not want my family to be friends with my ex on fb? Why do they NEED to hang on????
BTW, I have no kids with my ex husband. I am not friends with any of my ex husbands friends or family members on fb. There is NO reason to keep in contact with him or his family

[Antst]

If he was abusive, then it would be OK to expect them to cut him off. If he was not abusive, then you are asking too much and it is definitely not OK to expect them to cut him off.

It is a major step to introduce a partner to family members. The partner and the family members develop their own relationships. This is why it is considered a bad idea to introduce new dates to our families. If a date doesn't turn into a relationship, then family members can be hurt by having people come into and out of their lives.

Your relationship with your ex ended, but you simply can't expect that your family members will feel the same way about him. Unless he did something really awful (sold your dog, tried to steal your house, etc) or abused you. This is the choice you made when you introduced him to your family members.

I know how tough this must be, but unfortunately, the right thing to do is let it go.

[Kelly]

Yes it is very appropriate. I don`t know why your family is still friends with him of facebook. Why would your mom even accept his friend request? That does not make any sense. And why his your ex still adding your family? That`s very strange. You are right .. there is no reason to be in contact with him, expecially on facebook. I mean .. don`t ignore him, but being friends with him on facebook is a little too much. You should definietly talk to your family about this issue. Good luck! But also .. this is if he did something really bad .. like abused you or betrayed you, etc. Your family members might have developed a relationship with him, so they are friends. But .. you totally have the right to feel this way. Just understand that your family members and friends may have developed a relationship with him and you have no right to end that if they have.