Why would you want to be friends with an ex? Who has time for that nonsense?

[Mathias...Yes Sirr!]

How can you be friends with an ex like seriously platonic no feelings friends? I just think it's the most ridiculous thing ever that people fool themselves into thinking they can be friends with an ex. The person that usually can JUST be friends with an ex is the guy, usually the girl can have some sort of feelings for the guy which she is holding onto through the friendship.

Maybe i am a little bias but i am 20 and my girlfriend broke up with me about a week and a half ago. We were together for a year, she had broken up with me only to apologise on average once a week for the last two months of the relationship. The last breakup came when she told me if i don't earn more than her by the time it's time to get married she will leave me and never marry me. I disagreed and thought it was shallow, she wanted to cuddle up to me afterwards and i just wasn't in the mood so she flew into a rage and dumped me. It had go to the point where she was dumping me so regularly that i had enough and just agreed and she left. Blocked me on everything possible, facebook/messenger/phone calls. That's been it really, before she left after breaking up with me she said we should have no contact during christmas holidays which ends Jan 28th and that then afterwards we can try and be friends as i am an important person in her life who she doesn't want to lose completely.

Now my view on this is, why on earth would i want to be friends with her, but maybe it's because it's been a week. Also before our final breakup, she would sometimes say after breaking up with me that maybe she could keep me as a friend so i'm an option for her in the future?? Like i am some dog who is going to wait for her just in case she doesn't find anyone else. Just her saying that kinda proves why being friends is wrong, because her intentions of friendship isn't so we can hang out, it's so she can hang onto me and not let me go completely. I think this is how most friendships with ex's are, with one person wanting to just hold on so they have the option of getting back together.
I remember my friend was like as long as you don't hate the girl you can be friends why not. He is friend with his ex, but he is the person who wants to hang on. Everytime he tells me how she got a new boyfriend and he's jealous, how he's trying to tempt her to have sex with him again or how he is trying to get her back etc. Is that really a friendship when one of them is having that kind of thoughts?

I just think i should just move on like how would our friendship even work out, like ohh hi how was uni today, ohh i had a great lecture type sh!t? What is the point of that if that's the friendship, and if it progresses to us hanging out all the time, talking all the time laughing together, then we might aswell be in a relationship again which is something i don't want. Also how can you move on seriously when you are friends with your ex. How would i forget about her and get over her if i spoke to her everyday. This past week has been hell for me man, i've cried over this girl, her blocking me hurt me even though i feel like i've gotten over it now. Even when we broke up she told me how she think's i'm not on the same intelligence level as her and how i'm immature and don't understand women and blah blah blah. She completely insulted, dumped and blocked me and i'm going to be her friend really. Like aside from that i was hurt/sad for the first week but now i don't really have any anger towards her. But i don't have any desire to be friends with her either, i don't even like the controlling manipulative person she became with telling me how i must be here to marry her or else. Why would i want to be friends with that? On the other hand perhaps if we are just friends the emotional side of things will be discarded so we could just enjoy eachother's company as friends. But for me personally i just want to move on and by being friends with my first love won't help with moving on and meeting new people. Besides i do feel like her wanting to be friends is someway of her keeping a piece of me with her kind of, like having a small link to me. In my opinion if we are not together i don't want anyone to have a link or piece of me i just want to move on and forget. Am i wrong for feeling like this?

[Shannon]

Dude i have been through hell and back with my ex, it was online, And i flew to america from london for 2 whole years we were about to get married she dumped me took 27000$ And a $3000+ ring from me She stayed friends with her ex cause of her son Guess what after being emotionally toyed with for 2 years she left me be4 marrying me to go back to her ex her Fresh little fun And toy i was i'm really nice guy never hurt a fly only now n then, But she made me suicidal And she wanted to be friends i ws like Fuck no after all that shit

[Inky Gilmartin]

There is always a good reason why someone is an ex. Remember this and keep moving.

[rlc_60504]

I just went through a divorce after being with my wife for 17 years and having 2 kids under 12 with her. She said she hoped we could be friends. She initiated it and had an emotional affair while we were married.

I think there are benefits to being friends with somebody that you have been with for a long time. You know the other person better than anybody else knows them. You can help guide them.

I find myself conflicted between trying to get her back to help restore my family and being disgusted with recent behaviors of her and the way she threw our family away. I did not want to be just friends with her and because she wants it, I want nothing to do with that idea.

She comes to me seeking emotional support when her new guy friend isn't around or its a problem she needs help with ( a relationship I know the full history of ) and he has no knowledge or context of. She isn't there for me when I need her, so I see this is a one way deal.

Its all hard.