Answers to GUY TROUBLE?!?

[MelodySong]

Okay, so I had a boyfriend for 2 months. Things seemed to be going great. Then out of nowhere we broke up. I'm over him, (it was about a year ago) but to this day I still wonder, WHY?

Here's the details:

We met at my work. He was a customer. He asked me to a costume party.

We started dating. On our second date we went to the movies, and afterwards he asked me ”what we were,” and if I wanted to be Facebook official. (We became FB official shortly afterwards.)

We started dating in early November, and saw each other almost everyday. Within weeks we met each other's families. I went to his church every Sunday.

We talked about marriage. He asked me if I would like having his last name someday. He once said he already felt like I was his wife, but he wanted to wait a year until we got married.

We didn't kiss until weeks into dating. We cuddled, and gave each other back massages, but we never went all the way. He knew I wanted to save that for marriage.

We shared Thanksgiving with our families, and I spent Christmas Day with his family. Christmas night we cuddled and kissed on his bed. We still didn't go all the way. I didn't stay the night. (I never did, although he tried many times to get me to stay.)

Shortly after that things got weird. He started being aloof, and saying he needed time to spend time with his own friends. The next Sunday I asked him to give me a ride home from church and he made a big deal out of it, even though I only live 2 minutes away.

That Sunday, the music group at church asked if I wanted to be on their team. That seem to bother him. He knew I played keyboard, but he was trying to get me to volunteer in the nursery. He was friends with the music group and he never mentioned to any of them that I could play.

We didn't really see each other till New Years Day. He came over to my house to ”talk.” He started ranting about weird things. Things he never mentioned before.

He said I was always cold. (Temperature wise--I'm a freeze baby, and it was winter.) He said he liked to go camping and he wanted a girl he could take. (Again, it was winter while we were dating, and the topic of camping didn't really come up. But I always went along with whatever activities he suggested.) He said he wanted snomobiles someday. The way he said it was like he thought I would try to stop him from getting one, but we never even talked about it before. His rant went on and on. He complained how I was always cleaning up after dinner and how sometimes he liked to leave things a mess. He complained about how close I was with my mother. He said he was afraid my family would move away and I would go visit them for weeks, and he wouldn't want to go. (He knows my family loves California, and would love to move there someday.)

He also mentioned how the other night, (Christmas when we cuddled) ”felt wrong.”

I told him I wasn't having issues too, and I felt like I was losing myself. (I was always doing what he wanted. He always picked our activities, meals, etc.) He then acted like that was my problem for not sharing more with him. The problem was that he never asked. I told him a lot about myself and he never seemed interested. He was always talking about himself. I figured I could be happy taking the back seat, so-to-speak, in our relationship. I just wanted to be supportive.

We ended up parting ways that day and I haven't seen him since.

What was his deal? Was he ever serious about us? Why did he introduce me to his family, and to his church friends? Does he have commitment issues? Was he just playing me? Did he change his mind? Was there no chemistry? Did I lose his respect because of what happened on Christmas? I don't get it...

Does anyone have any insights? I'm just so confused...
Oh, and by the way... we were both 24 years old while we were dating.

[Courtney]

If it was a year ago, it's not that important. Guys are stupid and do crazy things. Who knows what he had in mind. If you are really THAT curious, just ask him!

[::yaya::]

Guys are weird, and it can be anything or nothing.
I had a friend that had a similar story, and the guy had desided to go back with his ex gf. It can either be that or he started talikng to someone else.
Thats all ican think about, cause it seem like he did like you.
But a year passed already so it doesnt really matter.

[Phil]

"we were both 24 years old while we were dating" holy crap you sounded like you were 14. Hopefully you're vastly different and more grown up now. And same as the men you date.

anyway, a few thoughts spring to mind.
1. you seem very sex-obsessed.
2. can you say doormat much?
3. church oriented. Your choice, but I find it odd you expect healthy relationships when trying church guys.
4. you seem bossy and like a doormat in a mixed kind of way. Like not balanced and on an even keel, but kind of all over the place. Either making demands which border on the ridiculous, or being all like "I'll do anything he asks, I'll play the supportive role" etc.

Other than that, I don't know. Might have to ask him, but it's unlikely you'll get a straight answer.