I need help, any advice?

[787]

I'm 15 1/2 years old, soon to be 16, and for the past few monthd I've been overly depressed. I've been depressed before and I've had suicidal thoughts, in fact in 2012 when I was taken to Canyon Ridge hospital for going on a rage at my mom and step dad, I attempted to commit suicide in my room my strangling myself with a towel, but failed. I don't think my mother really understands, because she says she's provided me with the best life she could have being a single parent, and I appreciate that but I hate the fact that she doesn't seem to understand when I say I'm not a materialistic person, materials and going places does not make people happy. I've never had a real friend, the people who I use to call my friends have done nothing but sh*t in my face, regardless of me reaching my hands out to them and accepting them into my home, I've always been used. No females care too much about me, I'm a decent looking guy, very intelligent, but they always find something wrong with me. They judge me without even getting to know me. I have to watch my friends as they get to date and have decent girlfriends while I have nothing. I had to endure this in elementary school when all the kids in my class got cards for Valentines day, I didn't even get one. Things like this hurt me. I'm now 15 and I see no reason why I shouldn't be going to the movies with girls or going on dates with girls to fast food restuarants. These are things teenagers my age do.That's why I deactived my facebook account, seeing these things does nothing but depress me. The only girl I really actually cared for (no lust, I actually had emotions for her) blew me off and now I have to watch as she grows closer to her boyfriend she's been with for over a year. I just want to die.
I think about death every day. I can't explain how I feel to my mother, I just can't find the words to say. I'm pretty sure everyone is going to tell me I'm 15 and I don't know anything, I just can't do it anymore. If I'm miserable now because of the way girls treat me, if I get older and get the same treatment I just can't keep feeling that pain. I am a sorry excuse for a person. I just want to leave this world. I don't feel like I belong here. It isn't for me, I'm not for it.
@Chris I don't know if you're trying to be funny, but I am an atheist. Been one since 2012.

[Acetek]

Learn to meditate and look within for the peace that can only be found there.

[A DRAGON]

Please find a good psychiatrist. That depression stuff starts in the teens. There is help available. Use it!

[Chris Ancor]

Turn atheist.

[Alikat]

You're only 15, don't worry you have plenty of dating and breaking up years in you yet. Try doing stuff you enjoy and that makes you happy. Happy people are more attractive and fun to be around.

[Straightshooter3]

Advice? Yes. Be patient with yourself. You're a smarter-than-average, adolescent male, and that means pain, depression, suffering, angst, anger and more pain and depression. On the bright side, it last about 1-3 more years and then it's all gravy as long as you're not lame enough to kill yourself while you're waiting to feel better about stuff. If it's too painful to bear, see a professional counselor or therapist and do it immediately.

My guess is that by the time you're a senior in high school, you'll feel better, have a girlfriend, and all that anger and disappointment will pass. Trust me on this, a lot of us go through the exact same thing and we come out the other side better than we thought possible.

[Glenn & Brenda]

I'll pray for you Jackson please keep trying to reach out to people at least your mother .

[ArmageddonOutahere]

If you are not on an antidepressant , get on one . Go see a doctor.
Do not look back.
I knew some guys just like you in high school and they are now popular and successful and the popular kids in class envy them for their intellect . I went through a similar time because I was pretty shut down in grade school. Then suddenly I was popular and sat at THE table with the snooty people.
You should wait this out. Ask to change schools . Explain your situation . Show your mother this question and let her care for you which is what a mom should be doing with a kid who is having a hard time.
A lot of people do not date anyone significant in high school anyway. Think about the fact that you probably do not have a sexually transmitted infection . So many kids get them so early. Not being diseased is a real plus as you settle down. My best friend ended up with herpes from her first and only boyfriend who she married. Gross. She met him her junior year.
So try to trick yourself into being grateful for something. Write down three things a day you are glad fofor See a therapist . If they don't seem to be helpful , find another one.
Call a suicide hotline. Really . It will get better for you.

[Vanessa]

You need to realize that at your age life can be very frustrating and depressing. Maybe you need to get involved in some school activities where you can make good friends like math clubs, or sports or maybe if you are artistic art or theatre clubs.

Also pick up some books on how to pick up girls, don't do everything they say, but read up and see what the common factor in picking up girls is, see what most of them say. Also sit back and watch the guys in your school who have skills with girls, see what they do, study them and emulate them. And if you see a pretty girl just tell her you think she is pretty and leave it at that, she will love hearing that. At your age girls are scared and insecure too, it goes with being young. And for the girl you told was pretty every time you see her smile at her, strike up conversations with her.

Hang out with guys and go to malls to meet girls, when I was a teen a long time ago my friends an I used to meet guys in malls, guys not even from our school. The flirting was so much fun, we loved when the guys would flirt with us, we'd smile, walk away and the guys would follow us, those were such fun times!! I don't know if teens do that now, but that was fun and it made guys learn how to approach girls, flirt, use lines. I feel sorry for kids who meet other kids online, there is nothing like face to face first time meetings, online is so blah. online it is nothing like say going to a mall, or a park and finding someone you find appealing and interacting. online people are fake and when chatting even that's fake, people can write something, not like it and delete it, in person whatever you say is out there, no erasing it.

but believe me many teens feel like you do, the teenage years can be some of the worst years of your life.

If you feel like killing yourself please tell your parents and they will get you the help you need.

[thumboy]

Become a Christian,