Would this piece of text convince you to sign up? What do you understand of it?

[deepak Mishra]

This is for a social network after people have complained that they don't understand why they should join the site, this is how it currently looks-
A social network to expand your world

Now, we've been working on other deigns and two main candidates are-
Frensdom - Landing Page
Frendsdom

Now, I am planning to put this piece of text in bold on landing page.---


Frendsdom is for everyone whether professionals, Kids, Grown Ups or elderly or even for your pets if you like

Everyone who likes to socialize

Everyone who likes to make new friends

Everyone who likes to try something new

Everyone who likes innovation

Social networking for all, helping you expand your social circle worldwide in fun way

We know no age/country/gender barrier, we are all about putting you across strangers

Looks like you're ready to get in. Think you wanna learn more? click here


Do you think it works well for you?

[Sam]

Remove the "Think you wanna learn more?" title.