Since it's okay for wives & girlfriends to snoop, how about if men do it too?

[robert x]

isn't it the case that if you have nothing to hide then it makes no difference whether wives girl friends husbands and lovers look through each other phone and internet histories.

[MADLUV]

My question is why would a man waste his time on a women who is playing highschool games.

i woudl'nt do this and don't do this. and i want to answer your questions as I have snooped once or twice well i bugged my house as i suspected a boyfriend was cheating on me. Well i ended up finding out he was cheating on me. i was such a little brat then. and did everything in my power to make his life really bad.



So how would YOU women feel if we went through YOUR phone? i wouldn't feel good and would leave.
YOUR text messages? would feel you didn't trust me and i would leave.
How would you feel if we refused to take you out to dinner unless you told us your facebook passwords? i would feel you didn't trust me and I would leave and find a man who would take me to dinner. (keep in mind the double standards most females have no issues on getting a date)

How would you feel if we snooped through your purse? You might see something gross and i'll break your fingers.

Went through the old boxes in your closet? i'm a pack rat i'll end up dealing with who gave you this, why do you still have that. I'm tossing this. this would make me extreamly upset. to the point you might want to run. As a horder you don't MESS WITH MY STUFF. sorry i'm a bit upset with the thought of this. go through it just put it back don't question what i hold on to. if you do there is the door!

Deleted pictures of you with old guy-friends from your computer? i have them backed up what ever! and printed if i find out i'll save the as desktop[s and play childish games. or just leave.

How would you feel if acted suspicious of you all the time? normal lol

Refused to cuddle on the couch or be affectionate because we're convinced your up to no good? (currently i get no time for myself so i would be greatful! )

How about if we start following you after work to see if you're "really" going to the mall the way you said? I have GPS on my phone just look at it this doesn't bother me much. Safty is important to me. and I want you to know wher ei'm at .. but while your at it can you pull over for a quicky!!!


How about if we put a GPS tracking app on your phone so we can see where you are at all times? After all, if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to worry about. Right? again i don't mind this. safty first. now when i get questions why were you in the parking lot of some office building for 30 minutes at noon today.
i would say follow me and find out. and wink at you. i sit in my car a lot at lunch and drive around aimlessly. if i forget to bring my gun with me i would want to know where the body was last.


but yea most women are crazy. and it boils back to the point is the sex that good that you stay with women like that.
in general.

[Kurt]

Here's the other funny thing about people who think that it's okay. If someone wants to cheat on you, they will. All you are doing by forcing your insecurity on your partner is teaching them to be careful and cover their tracks. If they know that you are going to snoop, then they will not use their phone or email to do it. They will use work email or buy a cheap prepaid phone. It is really pointless and a waste of time. And I can't imagine being married to someone who I didn't trust or who I thought did not trust me. If either of those things were true, I would get a divorce.

[blogRot]

Most of the other responders are missing the point - her snooping is what is called a fit test or a sh!t test: she's (hypergamously) testing you on how you handle and respond to her, not necessarily on whether you're actually hiding something or not. And responding in like kind (snooping her stuff or challenging to do so) is a failure if not handled in this context.

Understand what a woman does, not what she says. The chewing gum example: men see women like chewing gum - the more its been in another man's mouth the lower the value if not outright repulsive; women see men also like chewing gum - the more its been in another woman's mouth obviously the better it is since so many women want it. Her instinct to snoop is to see how high of value you are to other women (how chewed is your gum), although what she *says* about it can differ.

This is a test on your fitness to the relationship, not necessaritly a challenge to individual privacy.

Of course if she's BSC then all of this is moot.

[English]

I am tempted to sya you go to extremes with the gps thing, but I know better. I am getting the feeling here you are too private a person for many a girls to have a comfortable relationship with.
Let me propose this question to you! What if... what if you had a secret you considered shameful? What then? What if you were in a serious relationship (possiblity of marriage)? and you are impling that cheating is not going on by the the person being investigated, right? Then if the person who is being investigated has a shameful secret, then why does he feel justified to hide it? Would it not be a type of deception to a girl who did marry him with out knowing? My point is there can be such a thing as too much privacy in a relationship. If a man is not cheating, would he not want the girl he will marry to know who exactly she is commiting to? Or do you think that if she too has a shameful secret, it is ok for you to not know who you are commiting to? Or that it should be onesided??

[kate]

I'd have no problem with it. I haven't gone threw anything that is my husband's but if I had a reason to believe he was cheating I would. He's welcome to check my email, facebook or phone. I trust and love him and if it would make him feel better it's fine with me. He's also encouraged to meet any male friends I have and to come by my work and visit. I love him, so I'm happy for him to be involved in my life. My purse is pretty much fair game. Half the time, I'm carrying most of his stuff in there, so he's certainly gone through that. Since we're married, our belongings are all combined in boxes, which we both packed, so he's been through all of those.

If we weren't living together and married, I'd feel differently of course, but I'm in a partnership and if he needed to do it to trust me, I wouldn't be worried.

[nanners]

I don't think it is OK to snoop and I would not be with someone who didn't trust me and I didn't trust him. It just takes up too much time to snoop through emails, text messages, and computers. Why even be in a relationship? Pointless.

[Val]

If I have to hide something and/or lie then I don't deserve to be trusted. Yes, it's a privacy matter and maybe you should sit down with your girlfriend and ask her why she feels a need to do that? Is it because every man she's been with has cheated on her? Is it because your texting while your having dinner with her instead of engaging? Sounds like you've been with women that have taken it to the extreme and if a girlfriend is doing all those things it means she doesn't trust you and if she can't explain why she's doing that then what kind of relationship do you have? My husband has all my passwords and I don't lock my phone and I'm where I say I'm going to be so knock yourself out....try to find something. I love him enough to be an open book...there's no mystery here.