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Mysty Shores · 11-09-2012, 05:05 PM

It just seems to me like one of those impossible things.

Heather B · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

It's an individual's choice. It was very important to me to know the truth of my origins. I didn't like starting life at chapter two. I wanted to know my roots just like thousands of others who make genealogy one of the most popular hobbies today!

It seemed impossible but, after searching for 20 years I finally found and couldn't be happier.

Emma Monsters Mama · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

My biological mother is my mom, but my dad isn't my biological father. To tell you the truth, I don't really even have the want to find him. He's not on my to do list with my life. The dad I have has been wonderful to me. The dad I was suppose to have abandoned me, so why should I want to find him? Of course, I get curious sometimes, but I've never searched for him, and I doubt I ever will.

Lori A · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

Not impossible for all. I've been in reunion for 9 years with my daughter who thought it was important enough to search.

Diedra*[Due Oct.] · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

well it was pretty important to me to find my biological father . i thought it would fill the void in my life . i ended up finding him through myspace & things didn't turn out as i expected them to . he actually never even tried to look for me & as soon as his wife stepped in to say something he got this huge attitude . well that was almost a year ago , i figured out that the strong father figure i needed was beside me all along giving me support thru looking for him & watching out for me & my feelings . i never actually met him but im sure that if i did , i woulda ended saying some mean things . p.s - i never held a grudge over anything he did , leaving my mom , never coming to see me etc . . & i always kept a positive attitude about him wether people would talk bad about him or not . i dont exactly feel any love for he guy & as far as i'm concerned , my unborn child already has a grandfather , & i have a father to walk me down the aisle , wether he's my real dad or not what im worried about .

Violenticicle084 · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

it's very important to me to find my biological mother.
i think that once i do, i can FINALLY truly be at peace with everything.
i know it can seem nearly impossible..but i am not willing to give up on trying to find her.

cantstopLinnyG · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

Let's put it this way- I have never not known that I was adopted. Ive always known. I wanted to find my first parents since I understood the basic concept of adoption. Wanting to find my first family was as natural to me as breathing.

Even though my records were sealed, I found my first mother when I was 21 years old. Other than giving birth to my own children, it was the most profound moment of my life, and one of the happiest, too. And, it has NOTHING to do with me not loving my adoptive parents, because I do love them, even though I did not have the "perfect" life, as no one does.

I actually find it odd when adoptees do not wish to find them. I mean, we are part of them.

Laura · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

i found my birth parents and it was so weird..they really wanted to be a proper family with me but it was too weird..they were strangers to me.

Ranchmom1 · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

It was really important to me. In finding my first mom, I learned I'd never be able to find my biological dad and I'm sad about that, but I'm glad I do know my biological mom. It has filled in a lot of holes I didn't even know I had.

amyhpete · 11-09-2012, 05:13 PM

It's not impossible. In many states, if you're over 18 and you write a real, snail mail letter to the adoption agency, they will at least keep your letter on file and if the bio-family also writes a letter they will arrange a meeting.

I don't regret finding my bio-mom, but it does hurt that she won't give me a real answer about my bio-dad, and that she never really did want a relationship with adult me. Most bio-moms are grieving the loss of a relationship with a baby and the loss of opportunity to raise a child. However, once in reunion, it's very difficult to come out and say that.

My bio-mom is consistent only in her playing hot and cold emotional games with me.

I have known many adult adoptees whose reunions have gone the same way.

Just a caution to others that while most reunions have the moment of the Oprah-esque tearful hug, the aftermath requires working through a lot of emotions.