How should I react when my 15 year old daughter gets bad grades?

[Stareyes]

My 15 year old daughter just came to live with me. She lived with her father from age 10 to 15. He sent her to me so she could get more help with her schoolwork and attention in general. He works late and does not help her much with her school work.

I live in another state and she does not like living with me or the school that she is going to. She was throwing tantrums in the evening because of this and then saying she was going to "fail."

She did very poorly on a book report that she had to do and on Chemistry quizzes/ labs.

I don't know how much I should be helping her. I try to quiz her and review her reports. I don't want to rewrite them though.

I feel responsible for not living up to her or my ex-husband's expectations because I am not helping her to achieve A's and B's in school. She was not gettting good grades at her other school.

How should I handle her bad grades in this school? The grades should teach her about her tantrums and stop them.

[Snow White]

She's a big girl.
Encourage her to do well and help her when she asks. Punish her if she fails. But, she will just have to suffer the consequences if she fails.

[Psalm91]

She is testing you to see what she can get away with. You have to let her know that the tantrums are not acceptable. She has to do her own schoolwork and make good grades. If you let her get away with what she is doing now, YOU WILL REGRET IT and so will she eventually.

[Rainbow]

go speak to the school they will give extra help to students who are unsure of the work its easily fixed,its not your job to do the work for her.She has to do it to the best of her ability and if she needs extra tuition so be it .its not all down to you

[$♫$LUV4GUNZ$♫$]

quizzes are just gonna piss her off b/c your giving her more work. if she doesn't want to do her work she won't do it. period. she obviously doesn't care about school. i don't wither, so this would almost be coming from her stand point. the best thing might just be to ease off her a bit. my parents get pissed at me when i get a C for chirst sake. and all that does is piss me off when they get mad and when people are angry their i.q. decreases by 18 points.(no, i didn't make that up, you can look up that fact) so ya, just ease off and let her try it on her own, but, if she is obviously not even trying, i would look into getting a professional tutor...

[Miss; Demi Nicole]

I wouldnt punish her if she fails in some subjects, maybe if she throws tantrums. When she does fail a subject just tell her that if she wants to end up with a dead end job when shes older keep carrying on the way she is and if she doesnt want that then tell her you are always there to help her achieve the good grades if she wants you to.

[lowcobweb167]

Seems like she isn't adjusting very well to the situation at all, even when she was with her father.
First, you need some kind of help with her attitude seems like. You can get that through the Department of Social Services/Dept of Jobs and Family Services. They do more than supply Medicaid and food stamps, they help when you need help with other things like this too. Get in touch with her teachers, with your daughter by your side, have a conference with each teacher and see what is going on, what needs to be done, accomplished in each class or what she isn't doing in each class, get a list of work she needs to finish up and set up an after school tutorial class so she can get all her work done. You will avoid all the tantrums she is giving you at that point and make sure she is in some kind of counseling sessions to help with the anger she is feeling or going through. I pray God Blesses you during this trying time in your family.

[Angela F]

At 15 she's old enough to be responsible for her own grades. I would schedule parent teacher conferences to see if the teachers can suggest what the problem is. I personally will ground my son, he's 14, from the phone or whatever he likes to do until he pulls his grades up. This usually works pretty well with him. You can't feel bad about this, her grades at this point are her responsibility.

[ღWifey Wifeyღ]

Well, when she fails she'll be the one to suffer. She won't get into a good college and will have a shit job the rest of her life. If she wants to screw it up let her. She's old enough to know better.

[Laura B]

TAKE HER TO GET TESTED AT A SYLVAN LEARNING CENTER. IT'S EXPENSIVE BUT YOU FIND OUT WHAT HER LEARNING ISSUES ARE AND WHAT CAN BE DONE TO HELP HER. YOU MIGHT ALSO WANT TO GET HER THERAPY TO HELP HER WITH ANGER MANAGEMENT. SHE MAY EVEN HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY.