==> Report abusive content in this page <==
Post Reply 
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
How does Muslim arranged marriage work?
11-09-2012, 07:57 PM
Post: #1
How does Muslim arranged marriage work?
Do daughters and sons of Muslim families allowed to pick their partner they like from whoever their parents picked out of, or are their partners completely picked by their parents?

Are daughters and sons of Muslim families allowed to refuse their parents' decisions about their future partners?

Ads

Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 08:05 PM
Post: #2
 
unfortunately in many instances they are forced to marry one person. usually the man gets more of a say though, this is because sadly mysogony is very deeply routed within many religions. if they refuse to marry each other they will be disowned by their families and put out on the street. i don't mean to sound intolerant but the whole thing is sick. religion should not be an excuse for human rights abuse.

Ads

Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 08:05 PM
Post: #3
 
Peace be unto you dear sister, hope you are good Smile

Yes, we are allowed to choose our future husband. The guardian of the girl, whether her father, brother or uncle plays an important role in her marriage.BUT no matter what, this does not allow them to force their choice on her against her wishes. She is free to accept or reject or make her own choice.

A woman came to the prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) and complained: "My father has forced me to marry my cousin in order to raise his own status. The prophet told her that she is free to dissolve this marriage and choose whoever she wished to marry. She replied "I accept my father's choice, but my aim was to let the women know that fathers have no right to interfere in the marraige" (Ahmad, An-Nasa's and Ibn Majah)
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 08:05 PM
Post: #4
 
Both sons and daughters have the right to choose who they want to marry. This is often not practiced by Muslims even today and they often force their kids to marry someone they (the parents) choose.

This is why cousin marriage has been so high in some Muslim cultures. Often the girls aren't even allowed to go out of the house so they don't get to meet anyone, and boys don't meet any girls that way either. Usually it works by the guy's network - first his cousins and then his friends. If he doesn't like his cousins he can ask his friends or parents for good girls to marry.

A lot of the times though, the parents usually have networks and they arrange the marriages of their sons and daughters to maintain an alliance or bond between the two families. It's pretty anti-progressive if you ask me, because in today's time connections shouldn't be limited by your parents.
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 08:05 PM
Post: #5
 
A lot of the time parents of a Muslim who is seeking marriage are involved in decisions to pick a suitable spouse, but not always.

In Islam it is not allowed for someone to be married against their will. Both Muslim men and Muslim women can only marry with their own consent. Forced marriage is not allowed in Islam.

Maddy x
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 08:05 PM
Post: #6
 
Selection of a partner:

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The choice of a partner should be the one with the most "Taqwa" (piety). The Prophet recommended suitors see each other before going through with marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown together and be expected to relate and be intimate when they know nothing of each other. The couple is permitted to look at each other with a critical eye and not a desireful one. This ruling does not contradict the Ayah which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.

- The couple, however is not permitted to be alone in a closed room or to go out together alone. As the hadith says "When a man and a woman are together alone, there is a third presence i.e. shaitan.

- There is no dating or living in defacto relationships with each other before they commit to each other seriously. There is to be no physical relationship before marriage. The romantic notions that young people often have, have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rates to understand this point. e.g. the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. "Romance" often dies out very quickly when we have to deal with the real world. Unrealistic expectations often contributes to problems within relationships. It is better to focus on compatability of the couple and critical evaluation than solely physical attraction.

Consent of parties.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

There is a halal arranged marriage and a haram one. It is OK to arrange marriages by suggestion and recommendation as long as both parties are agreeable. The other arranged marriage is when parents choose the future spouse and the couple concerned are forced or have no choice in the matter.

One of the conditions of a valid marriage is consent of the couple. Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people.

The choice of a partner by a Muslim virgin girl is subject to the approval of the father or guardian under Maliki school. This is to safeguard her welfare and interests. The Prophet said "The Widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until she has consented and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is obtained. The Prophet did revoke the marriage of a girl who complained to him that her father had married her against her wishes.

The above information is taken from the first link below.

The second link is a video discussing marriage. Taken from "The Deen Show"

I hope this information helps insha'Allah to answer your question.

If you are on Facebook there is a group called " Marriage Sanctioned in Islam". You will find many videos and lectures on the topic.
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 08:05 PM
Post: #7
 
it works because its done under the will of everyone.
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)