In the argument that homosexuality is/is not a choice, is there any way that both sides can be correct?

[PurpleCrab]

Yes (wondering how many thumbs down I'll get from this )

If you consider that although the sexual orientation is not a choice (for all the reasons that are always told), there are indeed not that many people who are 100% gay or 100% straight; there are all shades of bisexuality.

With so many bisexuals, well if they tend to be way closer to one side than the other, it's often simpler to say their gay or straight. So a good proportion of bisexuals gets to be in the shadows because of this.

Another good portion of bisexuals are near being 100% straight, and since they feel they can choose to let themselves be attracted by the same gender, they figure it's the same for everyone, and that's where the argument that it comes from a choice is born.

Because, let's admit it... you like chocolate and peanut butter; if you're told peanut butter is wrong to eat and your family will disown you if you eat it, what the hell, you won't even look at it. You might even contribute to the false message that peanut butter is wrong just so your peers accept you more. It's kind of easy, since you like chocolate too.

Same for bisexuality. I'm bisexual, and if I decide I will never be with a woman anymore in all my life, well I just have to avoid to fall in love with a woman, keep my attraction to them to myself, and here it goes, I seem to be completely male oriented, even though it's not completely the case.

And that makes it a choice somehow. But not a choice to what really moves me inside, no... that I have absolutely no say on; it's too much part of who I am.

[Firelock]

Who you have feelings for, who you fall in love with isn't a choice.

What is a choice is whether you act on your feelings or not. There are people who are only attracted to members of their own sex who believe homosexuality to be wrong for moral or religious reasons, and therefore choose not to act on their feelings - they choose to live a life without intimacy, since the only intimacy they're interested in is, in their eyes, wrong.

It's terribly difficult to live a life that way, trying to shut off an entire aspect of yourself. You shouldn't ask it of anyone unless the alternative is destructive, either to themselves or others.

If you believe that living as a homosexual will harm someone, then you believe that someone with same sex attraction should be celibate and lonely - and you probably believe that guilt and shame for those same sex attractions should be constant companions to this person, to help them stop themselves from following their natural desires and causing that harm.

If you don't believe that living as a homosexual harms anyone, then the idea that someone should be ashamed or guilty or lonely because of it will sound cruel and ridiculous to you.

Both points of view are correct, given the assumptions behind them. My point of view is that there is no harm in being gay, and I'm saddened by the harm that's sent towards people for being gay.

[Toughpear884]

Well, yes. Some people can choose, though that's pretty rare (and it can be argued that they were just bisexual/polysexual/pansexual/ect to begin with). The majority of us can't actually choose who we fall for.