If your 12 year old daughter put up a Facebook page against your parental guidance what would you do?

[ojoscafeclaro]

This questions is really about my daughter... and I have grounded her from internet access until the end of the calendar year... she does not have her own computer, but uses mine and accesses internet from our neighbor's house sometimes; so she is grounded from that, too. The cell phone has been confiscated as well. I know she can create another pseudo account at any time; so the issue here is trust, and I had a talk with her about how in order for me to trust her with more freedoms she has to prove herself trustworthy. Willfully disobeying my direct orders is a surefire way to cause me to not trust her. When she is 13 she can have a facebook account. I think she will survive until then... Having a cell phone is a privilege, not a right. I didn't even have a cell phone until my 30's! She can wait until she is 15 to have a boyfriend... I think that is lenient, since I wasn't allowed to date until I left home at 19. I told her all boys care about at this age until forever is sex... Yes we have had clear and frank discussions about sex and all the complications it can bring, as well as how beautiful it can be when you are married and mature enough to handle the emotional and physical consequences. She's testing her boundaries with me, as all teens do, but she is for the most part a good kid... just discovering her social life and wanting to be doing what all her friends are doing. Of course, I've already given her the "if all your friends jump off a bridge doesn't mean you should too" speech. There was no spanking, and the old me would have whooped that behind, but I realize at her age that would have little effect. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and though she cannot reason like an adult, she does understand that disobedience means no cell phone, no tv, no sleepovers, no fun! I pretty much told her I have "eyes" everywhere and that everything done in the darkness will be brought to the light. I think she understood, and she proceeded to call me mean... I can live with that. Meanwhile, I sent her "boyfriend" a friend request and told him, since they like each other, we need to meet. She says she's broken up with him, but his FB page still says he's in a relationship with her. Her account is about to be disabled. I know she could create another one if she wanted to, but here is where trust comes in. She can wait a few months and get one then when she turns 13, the right way and show me I can trust her with that. Or she can sneak and create another one and I'll find out and ground her again, which I don't think she wants to happen.

About the boyfriend thing... she can be FRIENDS... but there is no reason she needs to have a boyfriend. Once you put that title on a relationship certain things are expected to follow, and I'd be stupid to think that all kids do nowadays is hold hands and kiss... hasn't anyone seen the news shows where kids are taking pictures of their body parts with their cell phones and doing the nasty in bathrooms, playgrounds, etc.? Middle schoolers these days are getting pregnant, on either side of the tracks. Wake up people! The internet is where we are losing our kids these days... it is important that parents be vigilant and aware of what their children are surfing on online and who they are talking to, texting and chatting with. I wish we still had the days of my youth where kids played outside all day until the street lights came on, but this is a whole new world. I'm just trying to keep my daughter as informed and safe as I can until she has to fly out on her own. She will get a chance to date at 15 and still have time enough at home to experience her first crush, high school sweetheart, broken heart, etc. before she has to face the world on her own terms. Once she is grown up, all I can do is hope and pray that I have taught her well and trust her to make wise choices.

To NidoNemo: what do you mean by "you people?"

[deepidea947]

I'd say that beating her a$$ is not an option. If my daughter did that, she would not even be allowed to look at a computer until she turned 15. She'd be grounded for about a year, get anything she really likes taken away (cell phone, iPod, etc.), and I'd make sure she calls her little "boyfriend" and tells him that she's not allowed to date until she's 16.