What is the christian perspective about flirting & telling jokes with sexual innuendo?

[asia n]

It's okay to joke around but if it's making you uncomfortable or upset then he needs to stop and think about you. There's nothing wrong with some flirting as long as it just doesn't get to outrageous

[Top Reporter]

The sad thing about adultery is that you don't even need to have sex to be an adulterer. If this guy is supposed to be in love with you, you are early enough in the relationship to dismiss him. There is nothing moral about what he is doing. Don't wait for excuses. He will simply use them to justify himself and try to rationalize what he is doing. You have already given him enough benefit of the doubt. If you are not married, I suggest that you move onto greener pastures.

[Misunderstoodvase727]

There is no THE Christian perspective on anything. There are a whole lot of them because there are 10000 denominations and a billion Christians.

I'm not a Christian but here's my perspective: a boyfriend flirting a little with other women is not a problem unless it harms your relationship. My advice: tell him that level of what he seems to regard as harmless flirting crosses the line with you.

A boyfriend who doesn't respect your sensitivity isn't worth your time.

[Fatima Smith]

There is nothing wrong with two single people showing romantic interest in each other, provided that they are contemplating marriage and that they avoid unclean conduct. (Galatians 5:19-21) Such interest may take place during the early stages of courtship when marriage may still be only a remote possibility. This is not necessarily inappropriate when the intentions are good. Such behavior is not really flirtatious.
What, though, if single people send romantic signals to each other just for amusement? It may seem harmless, since they are unmarried. However, consider the potential for emotional injury. If the flirt’s manner is taken more seriously than intended, it can result in excruciating pain and heartache. How true are the words of Proverbs 13:12: “Expectation postponed is making the heart sick, but the thing desired is a tree of life when it does come”! Even if two people claim to have an understanding that neither one has serious interest in the other—can either of them be certain of what the other is really thinking or feeling? The Bible answers: “The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?”—Jeremiah 17:9; compare Philippians 2:4.
Consider, too, the danger of fornication, with its possible consequences of disease or illegitimate pregnancy. Fornication is forbidden in the Scriptures, and those who willfully practice it lose God’s favor. The apostle Paul wisely cautioned Christians that to resist temptation, they should “deaden” their “body members . . . as respects fornication” and avoid “covetous sexual appetite,” which leads to fornication. (Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5) At Ephesians 5:3,4 he advises us that fornication “not even be mentioned,” that is, in such a way as to arouse wrong desire. Flirting does not harmonize with this counsel. God even forbids unwholesome conversation about sex.
Bible principles reveal that flirting can be cruel to fellow humans and disrespectful to Jehovah, the Originator of marriage. The Bible’s view of improper flirting is certainly loving and reasonable, as it protects people from injury. Lovers of God will therefore refrain from inappropriate flirting and treat the opposite sex with chasteness and respect.—1 Timothy 2:9, 10; 5:1, 2.

[som]

Dear Friend,

To understand the deeper meaning of what is going on we have to skip over the issue of dirty jokes and flirting. Too many accept it as normal and not so serious. Yet, if we go to the behaviour we see how serious it is. Because what is hurtful in this situation is how openly he acts towards the co-worker, how comfortably he acts towards the co-worker, how intimately he is acting with the co-worker rather than you. And that can really hurt! Know that what I write is a Christian view, but also a human view as well.

Christian or not what your boyfriend is doing is inappropriate and hurtful. After all you are hurt by his behaviour are you not? If he does not realize this, then he does not see your pain. And that is an indication of immaturity. As the saying goes, "We know we are mature when we can see the pain of others."
If he does not see your pain, then you have to make it known to him. It is very helpful, healthy, and appropriate for a couple to honestly express their expectations in the relationship which even includes how they treat one another and others. Another indication that the relationship has a chance to becoming a life long one is if the boyfriend is willing to change to fit in the relationship. If not, then the relationship has to change to either being just friends or parting from one another.
Also, it would be helpful if the co-worker themselves were to remind him of how inappropriate his behaviour is to her if she does find it inappropriate. If not, then it would have to be up to you to teach and tell him.
This is not to say your boyfriend is bad or evil. He just has to "grow up" into his relationship with you. He has to learn to change for the sake of the love between you.
It sounds as if your boyfriend needs to learn that there are boundaries in relationships. He needs to learn that there are more than one way to live relationships. It is most respectful and life giving when we learn that in our life with one another.
In Christian and non-Christian terms what could be helpful to you both is to be chaste with one another. Today the word 'chastity' is understood as not having sex before marriage. But the word also means purity of intention and conduct. In short, to love rightly. We all have this capacity within us already. We just have to live by it. Here is an example to illustrate what I am saying about chastity or loving rightly:
There is a dog, your boyfriend's mother, his co-worker, and you. There are certain ways in which he should love each one. He, like the rest of us, automatically know we love and should love each one differently. I imagine he would not love or relate to the dog in the same way he loves and relates to you. I imagine he does not love and relate to you in the same way he does the dog. I imagine he would not love and relate to you in the same way he does his mother. I imagine he does not love and relate to his mother as he does with you. And so, when it comes to the co-worker how is it he loves and relates to her? The same as you? Is it right and appropriate that he should love his co-worker in the same way he says he loves you? Obviously not. Each being is loved in a certain way according to the nature and boundaries of the relationship. If your boyfriend cannot discern that he is treating his co-worker inappropriately, outside or beyond the nature and boundaries of the friendship it's supposed to be, then he must learn this from you and not dismiss it as a joke.
I am sorry for your situation. It is not a hopeless one. I know it will all turn into something good for the both of you if it becomes a stronger bond between you both or that you both part in peace. I hope this has been helpful. Have a good day.