I cut my wrists please read all?

[Brandi]

i'm 13 years old. And I think I'm going through stages of depression. If you wanna be down-grading or mean right now. You can just leave. I'm not doing all this for attention whatsoever.
Okay. well.
It all started when my ex boyfriend broke up with me for another girl , and she and her friends would send me text messages and messages on facebook calling me a slut and bitch and all those mean critizing words. They sent me text messages threatning to kick * my a--* And to go kill myself cause nobody liked me. So I started thinking , well I don't care what you think. And I told my mom about the cyberbullying and she took care of it with the other girls mom. And it stopped. And it started back up , where my mom would send the girl a message on facebook of how disappointed and upset she is with all this happening. And that girl kept writing my mom back mean messages , saying I dont care your not my mom. And at the point i was just gonna take pictures *screenshots* of the messages and send them into the police department. But then my mom messaged her , I understand your still kids , but it's disrespectful. If you keep this up , you and your mom will be talking to the pd. And she said sorry to her and me. And it all stop. And then this is what happened. She started it back up again , and i started writing her back mean words it felt like I wasn't myself. Like someone else was in my body. I guess I thought it was the right thing? Than , I lost myself one night , and I posted a status saying I'm done with life. And I shut off the computer and was pasteing back and forth through the hallway crying softly cause my mom was in the other room , and than 2 minutes later my mom started crying and was yelling my name. And she was saying her chest hurt. And It stopped. so I continued , I sent my boyfriend a text saying Im sorry but we have to break up due to issues right now. And he said okay. And then I got back on Facebook and I had about 20 notifications from people and girls commenting on that post calling me petty , and bogus. And stupid , and even all the words in the book. I even had people saying go kill yourself then. Nobody cares. Youll feel stupid later on in life. And so I just forgot about it , and whispered to myself stay strong. And than a week later , my bestfriend was staying and everything felt like it got brung up again. One of my boy *friends* found a prank video on youtube , of us pranking him on facebook. And the girl that hates me showed him just to continue the drama. And he messaged me some fcked up stuff. And he had his friends calling me and saying you stupid bitch. And everything. And it was just a joke. I told him sorry but he said whatever sorry isnt gonna cut it. And Then later on that night everything calmed down. And then I got a message from one of my friends and it had a url with it. And she said Omg you need too see it , it's so mean. Im sorry. And I clicked on it , and it had a naked guy holding his penis and waving a sign back and forth that said my name and ugly. Like *Brandi Ugly* And My bestfriend was on the other couch laughing. And I was pretending it was funny too. Cause I don't show my emotions. And then everything stopped. Nomore drama , I apologized to everybody on facebook , and they all said sorry too. And so far everything is great with Facebook. And now im having problems at home. My dad yesterday night smacked me in my face , and he was telling me one day you suck at volleyball why are you in it. And my mom yells at me , but she always apologizes. And everything. I cry almost everyday , because I feel as if my dad treats me like im a toy. And my mom supports me. So I started cutting. If I would take you into my home during all those memories , you'll understand why I do this. I started cutting last month. I started off with long fake fingernails. I know it's weird. And then I went to Earring ends , and then to soft spot knifes , and then to butterknifes. and today it led to kitchen knifes. I want to show my mom my cuts. but I dont want her to think im crazy. This morning I head a headache cause my dad hit me hard lastnight. And I didnt wanna go to schooll. So my mom yelled I miswell just take you out of school and homeschool you. And I stayed in the cry and cried. And she had to go with her friend to help her clean a camper out. And she left. And I went into the bathroom with a kitchen knife , and made 8 cuts. Not deep enough to bleed. But to where it's a red mark. And it stings. Is this healthy for me?
I also had suicide thoughts all the time during my depression stage , to the point where I tried committing more than 2 times. But I don't really wanna die. Please don't be rude about this.
Im from Colorado.

[Bh]

wow wher you from?

[Rick B]

This is impossible to read. You are 13 and don't understand how to write in paragraphs???????

First, get off Facebook, twitter, etc. close your account. There is absolutely nothing good coming frame those based on your post. It is way too easy to bully in those anonymous portals.


It sounds like you need new friends! Find some neighbors that attend a good Christian church and ask if you can attend with them.

Talk to your school counselor about the bullying and about your situation at home. You need professional counseling and advise.

If I were your parents, I'd probably pull you out of that shool and help you to make a fresh start in a new school. I'd also take you to weekly counseling sessions to help you deal with ll this. I'd also try to get you really plugged in at church and help you to find peers and mentors that are supportive, not destructive. You also need to be on medication to help with the clinical depression. In short, if your parents will not step up to the plate and do their job, then you need to get your school counselor involved so you can get the resources and help you need. Feel free to print this out and give it to your parents.

If your parents are hitting you, you need to go to your school counselor and get them to intervene. This is very serious and can escalate. I can't image hitting my children. I have spanked them when they were very young, but there is no excuse for hitting a 13 year old child.

As far as you, why do you think,that mutilating your body is going to make life better? You are angry and hurting, so you scar and injure yourself? How does tht make sense?

[Amaretta]

I think your parents have fallen down on the job here. At the age of 13, you are too young to be having boyfriends because you clearly can't handle all the emotion and the drama. You might be able to shrug it off at 16 or 17, but 13 is a more fragile age and you just can't handle it. You also need to get off Facebook since Facebook is the source of so much of your misery. (Your parents need to make you close your account for a year or so.) If you aren't willing to give up Facebook and all the drama, then you should at least block ANYONE who is saying negative things about you. And then you don't go to their Facebook page, either. If someone tells you, "_______ is saying bad things about you on her Facebook page," then you just respond by saying, "I don't read her page and I don't deal with her." Just make it clear that you are not going to allow them to hurt you anymore. The real question is why are you hurting yourself now? Haven't they hurt you enough without you carving yourself up like a Thanksgiving turkey? There's no point in you inflicting more pain on yourself. Also, talk to your mom about your dad. He shouldn't be slapping you hard enough to cause headaches (or concussions) and he shouldn't be yelling at you about volleyball. He's acting like an attack dog and your mom needs to put a leash on him.