I feel alone and I'm only 13? :(?

[Owlsinacity]

So I just feel alone in life right now. I feel like nobody really has a genuine interest in me, and I'm just not really special to anyone. I'll start with that I'm 13 years old, in the 8th grade, and am home-schooled. I really do enjoy the fact that I am home-schooled, and that I get to work at my own pace, with my preferred textbooks and schedule. But it's also the main reason I'm so alone. Pretty much every kid my age has tons of friends, and its because they get to go to normal school. I know school is a drag, but they have an advantage over me because they have friends. When you go to school, you make friends, its inevitable. You are around people all day, and you make friends and reputation. I'm homeschooled, so I don't have this. I wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, take a shower, and then get to work on my school. I'm by myself on my desk, working till late afternoon. I didn't get to meet a single person or do anything. So that's the main reason why I have no friends, is because during week-days I don't even have a chance to make any. I'm helpless in this area, because my parents are going to home-school me till college, so I will never get to go to regular school. They swear on their lives they will NEVER stop home-schooling me over anything. They are firm. I've tried bringing it up, and they scream at me, and then ground me and leave it at that. So all of the chances of getting friends at school are gone.

The other reason is I live in a small town of like 16,000 people. There isn't a lot of events that happen, or clubs outside of regular school I could join. Even if there was, my parents are really over-protective and they wouldn't let me just sign up without thurough back-ground checks on the group.

Now I'll just be totally honest. My parents are just lazy. They don't want to commit to taking me to a group meet or club every week, so they just don't let me join any. They don't like busy schedules, and aren't spontaneous at all, and they are just lazy. This doesn't help my cause at all either.

So enough ramblings. What can I do? I'm lonely without any friends, and I feel stuck because of the things I just explained.

PS: Parents won't let me go on social networking sites either, so another lost chance (no twitter, facebook, myspace, or any online forums)...

[anon]

I'm 15 and I've been homeschooled since 6th grade (against my will) and I live in a town of about 5000 people. Talk to your parents. Call your middle school. You can actually be homeschooled and take any class at the school. Ask your parents if you can take an elective at the school. It helps your social life so much and you can meet girls/guys. And find out where a big social place is after school and hang out there.

[Ä°lkay]

Ä°m 17 and a loner just like u. No friends so no fun i dont even think i have a reason to live. U really have a less chance of making friends bcoz ur homeschooled and ur not allowed to be social ur parents shouldn't do this to u but i dont think they care about ur feelings and needs. Unfortunatly i dont think u can do anything about it.

[Sophie]

I'm sorry for this sounds horrible they are messing you up socially. I'm a little worried this might lead to depression. Are you sure there is no way that you can get them let you go into any type of sport or go to any sport? You should really try sitting down your parents!! Better yet any family members that you can talk to grandparents anyone to sway there opinion. Public school does suck but it's way better then what your going through. Hoped I help.

[Hannah]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I go to online school, and i'm a freshman in high school. i stay home all day and i too, don't have any friends. I mean, i don't know what to tell you. My parents are overprotective and i live in a big city with lots of people and my parents don't let me go anywhere and i stay in a house for days. Nice to know there are other kids with overprotective parents. Do you have brothers or sisters? They can be your friend. Will your parents let you go next door. If not, i don't know. I'll be your friend if you want. I'm in need of a friend. Too bad, your parents don't let you have social networking, i do.

[Samona]

I agree with the person above you. Parents should not block you from having a social life like this. But I must say, they're doing a good job at your education. I can tell your intelligent by your writing.

But absolutely no social life would drive me insane as well. The only thing I can thing of is convincing them to get you a cell phone if you don't already have one.

I hope your parents realize that you could go crazy over this kind of treatment. Or when your older you could follow the wrong crowd, desperate for friends or affection.

But idk.

[sabrina]

((by the way, I didn't read the first answer, in case this is exactly like the first))
One suggetsion is to get up and tell your parents to let you get social and persuade them into it. Tell them you respect them but won't take no for an answer. That you understand their side, but it makes you feel the way you do.
I'm kinda like you. Small town, little access to social networks (and no phone), not many many friends, and I'm the same age/grade.
I don't go to an actual middle school but it's not too bad. I hear a real middle school has tons of students and you adjust and find someone or two you can call a friend. =)

~Thank you for reading.

[Candiceâ„¢]

•Hi well here are 4 starters to help u on the road to a more POSITIVE image and will help u overcome those conversation blanks & low self- esteem issues Ciao♥
***************************************…
1. BE SELF-AWARE AND DEVELOP A POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE
When you trust yourself, are self-aware and can frame yourself in positive terms, your confidence soars
2. TAKE CONFIDENCE CUES FROM PEOPLE YOU ADMIRE
You need to fake it ’til you make it! Consider the way a confident person behaves—observe a friend, relative or colleague
3. FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS, NOT YOUR WEAKNESSES
If you have a realistic understanding of your own strengths (we all have our strengths) and apply that to your most important and meaningful goals, you have a powerful tool with which to build self-confidence.
4. BEWARE OF BARRIERS TO ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES
If frustrating obstacles or negative feedback cross your path, don’t give up! Developing confidence takes a little persistence. Set realistic expectations: those lacking self-confidence often see an everyday barrier as a signal to throw in the towel.
For example, if in conversation and it goes quiet or u say dopey things then LISTEN and ANSWER accordingly about subject don’t expect to be the life of the group right away—this unrealistic expectation puts too much pressure on you. A good talking strategy is to give others your full attention. This not only shifts your focus away from thoughts like ‘this is a disaster’, but also makes people around you feel wonderful—a two-way confidence booster!

Same as if you WANT TO BE MORE POPULAR AT SCHOOL/COLLEGE then BE INVOLVED in school/college team activities like via sport, drama, debating classes, in other words being active not only helps makes you popular as long as your not arrogant this also helps stop you from being bullied/harassed.

Now go and let others see your no shrinking violet YES!!…… Candice ♥

[Cam]

Hi Owl:

Wow. You're an imprisoned 13 yr old kid. An intelligent kid. A kid craving friends.

Your parents, on the other hand, are idiots! Cruel idiots. How can they be so blind to yr social needs? You're a young teen. You crave a social life outside the home. And by God, Owl, my powers may be limited to putting pixel patterns on yr screen, by I'll do everything in my power to help u.

Okay, start here: you MUST be allowed to socialize. Not might be allowed: MUST be allowed. So one way or another, u must do an "end run" around yr parent's foolish policy. You must get around their idiotic barrier.

So, let's start by sitting them down and saying something along the lines of "I enjoy home schooling. It was yr idea and I'm super grateful to u. But look at this:

"When you go to [normal] school, you make friends, its inevitable. You are around people all day, and you make friends and reputation. I'm homeschooled, so I don't have this. I wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, take a shower, and then get to work on my school. I'm by myself on my desk, working till late afternoon. I didn't get to meet a single person or do anything. So that's the main reason why I have no friends, "

"Parents, this is OUT OF BALANCE. I'm getting great academic training, thanks to u, but you're not allowing me any social life. A teenager--any kid--needs to socialize. To learn how to behave around his peers [kids his own age]. Ultimately to be a good citizen.

But you've basically locked me up in this house. I don't think THE LOCAL HOME SCHOOLING SUPPORT GROUP would think that's right.

You're doing a great job on the academic side, but ur not seeing that I need to get out, I NEED FRIENDS. You are stunting my social growth. This has to change. Things are OUT OF BALANCE.

Now, OWl, when I was figuring out what to write u, I came across this "Home School Legal Defense" article below. It was defensive in tone: What? Isolated? No! OF COURSE home schoolers are getting socialized, blah, blah, blah.

There must be such a support group in yr area. After u've talked to yr parents and if they're still dug into their stupid position, u may need to contact the local group and explain yr situation.

I'm sure ur not enthusiastic about going around them. But listen: u MUST have a social life. You need to convince yr parents of that. If they won't listen to reason, then u must get a higher power involved:

THE LOCAL HOME SCHOOLING SUPPORT GROUP.

Or the Guidance Counselor at yr "normal" school. You need to get someone on yr side that shakes yr parents up and gets them to see the rightness of the Owl's point of view.

Below is the article. It contains some helpful suggestions.

Best of luck to u. Feel free to email me.

*

Cam

*


Practically, homeschoolers generally overcome the potential for "isolation" through heavy involvement in church youth groups, 4H clubs, music and art lessons, Little League sports participation, YMCA, Scouts, singing groups, activities with neighborhood children, academic contests (spelling bees, orations, creative and research papers), and regular involvement in field trips. In fact, one researcher stated, "The investigator was not prepared for the level of commitment exhibited by the parents in getting the child to various activities�It appeared that these students are involved in more social activities, whether by design or being with the parent in various situations, than the average middle school-aged child."1

In nearly every community throughout the country, local homeschool support groups have formed in addition to the state-wide homeschool associations. In many areas these local support groups sponsor weekly and monthly activities for the homeschool students, including physical education classes, special speakers, sports, camping, trips to museums, industries, farms, parks, historic sites, and hundreds of other activities. Regular contests are also held including spelling bees, science fairs, wood working contests, and geography contests. Homeschoolers in many localities have formed homeschool choirs, bands, sports teams, bowling leagues, educational and activity clubs of every kind, and many types of resource libraries. The state homeschool associations generally sponsor a major conference where homeschool children can attend and the older children perform plays, assemble yearbooks, and participate in graduation ceremonies for eighth and twelfth grades. A review of the state homeschool association and local support group newsletters testify of the great many social activities available. Homeschool families, as a whole, do not raise their children in social isolation. [HA!]

[Eric]

Here is a cure to loneliness: Get out of the house, learn how to make friends, make friends, learn how to play certain sports, exercise, be yourself, and feel good about yourself.

Or tell your parents that you want to go private or public school.