How do i break things off with him?

[ParisMorgan]

So we've known each other for a couple of weeks, went on one date and had to flake on the second one, just a week after.

I thought i liked him... but i knew i'd have to get to know him before making any decisions and moving 'whatever this is' forward.

My problem is that he's moving way too fast: He doesnt even care to know who i really am, all thats in his head is all of the ''amazing'' things he's heard about me (i also feel like i have to live up to his expectations and higher standards set for me). I didn't really realize this BIG problem until today, so now that i want nothing else to do with him (we're way too different, he's shallow yet doesn't know it etc etc)

I dont want to be a bitch, and also, since we're not all that close yet i figured we wouldnt get each other a christmas gift... But he tells me he's already gotten one for me... im confused, and just surprised because i have no idea whaat to do about him.

I feel like i led him on, but i couldnt have known that these little things would turn out to be too much for us to be together.

How do i tell him that im not into him anymore, without him thinking im a complete jerk, and that i led him on?

Also he told me that he's in love with me after our first date... dont even ask why i didnt run after just that. I've never had a bf or anything like this before...

- Im 17, he's 18 .

PLEASE HELP. Thanks !
Dont want him to think bad about me or talk trash about to his friends.. which i feel is very likely so i'd like to avoid

[Rahul]

Ending a relationship is a difficult decision, here are some tips to help you out.

1. Do it yourself - In person. Don’t text, email or tell him/her over the phone, or even have a friend do it for you. Give your soon-to-be ex the respect he deserves in hearing the words from your mouth and in seeing you tell him/her in person. Do not try this:

> Breaking up over the phone
> Breaking up by text message (or Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, email etc)
> Lying to avoid the real issues
> Creating elaborate plans to make Him/Her to break up with YOU.

2. Pick an appropriate place to break up - Choose a place where your partner will be able to get emotional or ask questions. You owe him/her the opportunity to talk to you about why you’re letting him/her go.

3. Allow enough time for your partner to process the information - Remember, you’ve known for some time that you were going to break up, but it might take a few minutes for your partner to be okay with the news. Don’t just tell him/her you’re ending it and get up and leave. Allow a few moments for the news to sink in, and then ask him/her if he/she has any questions.

4. Be respectful Don't devolve into a swearing match - No matter how you feel right now, remember that there was something about this person that drew you to him/her. Don’t diminish his/her character or criticise him/her or become verbally abusive.

5. State your reasons for breaking up in a straightforward but thoughtful manner - Even if he/she has hurt you, don’t say purposefully mean things to get back at him/her.

6. Don’t suggest you two can remain friends if you have no intention of doing so - Using this line is a cop out and will only serve to give your partner false hope.

7. Wish him/her the best and mean it - It can be a scary thing to break up with someone who isn’t right for you. Trust that you are doing the right thing for you and your partner.

8. Lock your Heart up and Toss the Key - Being extra nice will do no good. Actually, it may give the other the sensation that you are second guessing your decision. Don't start the "I need time to think it over" cliche. This will be perceived as if you are leaving the door slightly open to hopes.

9. Give your ex some space - It’s natural to be curious about how your ex is doing. It’s also possible that you’ll want to make yourself feel better by hanging out with someone you know is still into you, but doing so is immature and will only serve to hinder you in moving forward. Avoid hanging out or keep showing up at the places you know your ex will be, just because you’re bored or because seeing him/her gives you an emotional high, until you’ve given the break up some time to absorb.

10. Avoid Yo-Yo Effects - Be determined to break up. Don't break up and get back again. This will only prolong an already pitiful situation. Breaking up and coming back, creates a frustrating yo-yo effect which will wreck only havoc in your life. Your ex may take the break up in a stride at first, but then call or email you begging for a second chance. Remember that you are breaking up with him/her for a reason, so don’t second-guess yourself. If you receive a call or email from your ex, tell him/her politely once that you will always care for him/her but your relationship is over.

11. Aftermath - Don't openly discuss the contents of the breakup. That's between you and the other person. It's quite possible that you'll horribly embarrass him/her if you start gossiping about what happened, so clam up and keep your problems to yourself.
Good Luck>r