How do i solve my shyness problem?

[That guy over there]

Im a 14 year old guy, and i am really, really shy. I havent had a girlfriend or anything yet, but i am good friends with a few girls. Usually when im in a group with my friends i let them do the talking; i just listen in silently most of the time. I am also very self-conscious, and i keep thinking people judge me because i sit in a particular way, or talk with some particular gestures....i know people say i've got to grow some balls and man up, but how exactly do i do that? I just want to feel more self-confident in what i do, and maybe also build up some courage to ask a girl out...
Please help, thanks

[king]

well get out of your "bubble" and explore shit. you wont get anywhere just sitting around eating popcorn watchinh home improvement. Like the canadian rapper Drake says YOLO get some ass son!!!!!!! GIOOD LUCK!

[eeeeeeee]

i feel the same omfg

[anonymous]

I'm a teenage girl and have the exact same problem. I know this is a cliche but it does improve with age. Two years ago I'd sweat quite excessively of someone approached me, causing me to fear I was smelly, thus causing more sweating. I'm still shy now, but I can force myself to make the effort at a conversation.

A way to combat this is to put yourself in situations where you're not shy. For example, I'm shy, but I never shy out of an argument, the only thing in me that's stronger than shyness is being opinionated, so in classes like RS, where we talk about ethics, I would always put my hand up, and if I said something controversial, occasionally someone would come up to me and ask me about, so I'd explain my opinion. I don't do this too often though, because then I just look overly opinionated.

Also, in subjects like English where we do speaking and listening, I get really shy, but I have a goal (good grades) so I just get on with it. When it comes to my education, I usually push all emotions out of the window and look at it from an emotionally cold perspective. This won't help you make friends, but this is just for the future if you ever need to speak in front of people.

Also play to people's strengths. The rules are different for girls, so don't take everything to heart, but I always find a compliment is good, 'is that a new hairstyle?', 'where did you get that necklace?', 'I like your top.' It has to be true though, people will know your Lying or think you're taking the pis if you compliment something that's clearly not worthy of compliment. Compliments are good though, for a start it shows people you care enough to notice what they are wearing, and secondly, everyone loves being flattered.

People also love complaining about things. If you complain about things constantly, people will think you're grumpy, but if you do it occasionally, and you do it in a way that's witty, or a way that allows them to join in, people enjoy letting off a bit of steam.

If they tel, you a story, ask questions about it.

I always find the game 'awkward questions' is good, don't suggest it, but if the opportunity arises back it. I used to gt embarrassed after playing it, but think of it this way, they trust you with the most appalling of questions, if you don't spread sh!t, they won't spread sh!t (usually).

Don't take yourself too seriously either, people hate it when someone can't take a joke, people respect the ability to laugh at oneself.

Just like you, my participation in conversation is minimal. Don't let it be this way. Let the fear of being the forgotten friend combat that of saying something stupid. Even if you just say, 'did you see so and so on TV last night?' It can start a huge conversation that is down to you, so people remember you.

Put yourself in situations that make you less shy. For example, around individual people I am more awkward than a sex addict at the local nunnery, but around a large group I'm at home. I can move onto talking to someone else if it gets awkward with one person. It is easier to blend in, and at some points I actually find myself dominating the conversation.

Some people are shy but become less shy on Facebook/twitter, Facebook chat people if you're one of those people.

If you however, prefer being with individuals, then even if you are in a group, talk to an individual member of that group.

If you want to ask a girl out, you'll have to get over being shy. Even if she says yes, say the entire date you're just sat there in silence. It's best to ask a girl you're good friends with out, she'll let you down gently if she does let you down at all, and if she says yes, then that's great.

Some girls don't even mind shyness. I had a crush on a shy boy, and have a crush on a boy who's quite shy at the moment. Remember that girls don't do the asking out (most of the time) so if you don't ask, you won't get.

Also, confidence won't come overnight, the best thing to do in the meantime is to fain it. To give you an example, I used to hate speaking in front of people. Then I had to do a GCSE speaking and listening, I was so scared. I performed it in front of Family first, then a few classmates, then suddenly it's the day of my test. Out of sheer impulsiveness, I put my hand up and go first. I was shaking and preparing myself, but I just thought back to rehearsals, and knew I could do it, so did it and got full marks. I kept a straight posture and made hand gestures, but felt like curling up into a little ball and dying. Now I can actually speak in pinlic.'