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Tomica · 10-12-2012, 05:23 AM

I have a friend that came out her about two weeks ago from Pasadena, ca and she has no job but her family was getting kicked out so she asked if she could come out her with me to get a job and she will get her own place. i have a family me and my soon to be husband and my son. Now mind when she came out here that she did not have much money maybe 60 dollars and she has been wasting it her money on things. now we told her she will have to go apply for food stamps which about one week ago she got 280 in food for october and november put together but she said she only has 40 dollars left and that is suppose to feed her until december. she always want to get on the computer to put applications in but when i go to see what she is doing on my computer she is on myspace, face book, twitter and shit. She has been out maybe two time out of two weeks to look for a job. I DON'T WANT HER LIVING WITH ME FOR EVER. i know she has only been her for two weeks but i believe she should be out looking for a job everyday and be out by 8 am mon - friday and not home til 3 or 4. since eventually she will not have any bus fare anymore after a couple more days. She stays up all late with my mans cousin (which has a family of his own) but thats another story. but she is putting this man before her responsibilities of finding a job. What is a resonable time i should give her to be out? and how can i tell her without being rude, or mean. Also how do i tell her that she needs to be out looking for a job mon thur friday from 8 am to no earlier that 12pm? Help me please i know i wrote alot but i need help. i am a quiet person just keep to my self and really have a hard time telling someone what they need to do when living with me. same with i have to have my husband to tell his cousin that he has to go home every night at like 12:30 or she would have him all night and not get up in the morning. please help me i need help.

Lion Sack · 10-12-2012, 05:31 AM

Prepare to live forever.
Say yes to good, and no to bad.

Pink · 10-12-2012, 05:31 AM

Tell her she has a month to find a job and longer if you know shes trying or you could help her A LITTLE do not let her take advantage of you.

mz_alwaystruthful · 10-12-2012, 05:31 AM

Just tell her straight up I think your focus is off just a bit and that looking for a job and a place to stay is way more important that you would like to see her make the best for her life..That getting up early will give her a better start with the jobs I believe employers are eager in the morning and by lunch they are grumpy because they are hungry...With the deadline things you will just have to set one rather its now, dec, or the first of the year.

Jeenius · 10-12-2012, 05:31 AM

Kick-Her-Out

She will do nothing but ruin your reputation and her own. She will end up costing you a ton of money. Do you ever notice her asking to borrow $5-$10? If she does this regularly she could end up costing you about $200 a month extra.

Micaylaaa:D · 10-12-2012, 05:31 AM

Sit her down and tell her, i want you out of my house by the end of the month. (You can say that nicely) Tell her that you have a family of your own to raise without having to feed and provide shelter for her. Tell her that she needs to get a job and get out.

SpaldingJag · 10-12-2012, 05:31 AM

If I were you I'd give the friend from California until the end of November to find a job and a place to live. You don't want to chunk her out right before Thanksgiving I don't think. You shouldn't have to give her a reason. That is a very reasonable length of time. I don't really think you should tell her she needs to be out from 8am 'til a certain time looking for a job. She's a grown woman. She should be able to figure that out. If she's not out pounding the pavement she's not going to find a job and she'll find herself out on the street.

You should also tell your "husband to be" that his cousin just can't stay that late at your house. I think a reasonable time for him to leave at night would be 10pm or 11pm at the latest. That also might help your friend to get some sleep and get up in the morning to look for a job.

You're going to be a bit unpopular here, but so what. Someone there has to be the adult. It's almost like instead of one child there you have 3: your husband to be, his cousin, and your friend. Put your foot down and stick to your guns.

maliboo_girl · 10-12-2012, 05:31 AM

You need to get her out NOW. If you are a renter, are you allowed to have guests for this long? I doubt it. Because if someone stays in your home for 29 or 30 days, they may get tenants rights depending on where you live! Even if they've never pay any rent. That means that your landlord would have to try to evict them. That's why they put in leases that guests can't stay long. Your landlord can evict you if you're breaking your lease by having an extra occupant.

If she is living in your home, you may have to legally try to evict her if you let her stay a couple of weeks more. Don't think it won't happen because she's your friend. It happens all the time!

You are absolutely right, she should be looking for a job from 8am until the end of the day. That's the only way she is going to find one in this economy. She is taking advantage of you and if you don't do something about it, you may end up with her as a permanent roommate until you take legal action.

If you are a renter, look at your lease and see if you can use that to get her out. If you are an owner, you'll just have to be firm and tell her that you cannot let her stay any more. Probably the best thing is to put it in a written letter.

You will not get her out if you don't act quickly. You do not owe her support, you owe your son support. She is taking from your son -- your time, your patience, your money.

It's hard, I know, but you must do it. Sorry if this seems harsh, but been there, done that! Trust me, you must get her out for your own well-being! Give her a week maximum, that's it. Any more time and you're getting too close to a big expensive problem.

Good luck!