Should I stay with my girlfriend?

[anony]

We met each other online on OkCupid in early September. We hung out at least once a week until mid October. We had a discussion about taking things to the next level and that's when she told me she has HSV1 (Herpes). She told me before we ever became sexual with each other. I took a few days to myself to think things over but ultimately decided it was worth at least trying. Since then we've fallen madly in love. Both our sets of friends have integrated almost flawlessly and we constantly get compliments from them and strangers about how great we look together.

We have had some problems. These mostly stem from me. I've been having some jealousy issues. I attribute these issues to her past. The longer we dated the more I realized that she has been with between 20 and 30 men, while my number is less than 10. I also found out just this last evening that she contracted herpes after we had met but before we decided to become exclusive. Also during that time she contracted anal chlamydia and has actually never told me about it.

Sometimes being with her I feel like my stress level is very high. I worry all the time about what she's doing and who she's with. She has mostly male friends which makes things even more difficult. I caught her messaging her ex, the one who gave her herpes the other day. In the conversation of about 8 facebook messages back and forth, she never mentioned me.

Other times being with her makes me the happiest I've ever been in my life. I've had several failed very serious relationships and this girl makes me happier than all the others. The things she says to me, how she tells me she loves me, how she can interact socially. Besides what I've listed above, this girl is perfect for me.

I know this is super long and I thank you deeply for reading this far. I know there will be some to poke fun at this cry for help but I'm hoping that at least one of you wonderful readers can help me put things into perspective. Thank you again.

[Leanne]

If I were you, I would leave. Do you know herpes is for life? Non cureable!! I would be worried id catch something from her. That is a very high number of sexual partners. Ive had 10 like you and I thought that was high!!! Wow. I feel bad for you. Please walk away and get tested. Then get tested again in 6 months to be sure. Fyi....it can take 7 years for aids to show up in system so again....get tested you never know. Goodluck. Plenty.of fish in the sea,.you dont need this!

[Gabrielle]

How can you be in a relationship with a person like this? Trust and communication are the 2 main things you need to have to be in a healthy relationship. And it seems like you can't trust her... Plus she has herpes... how are you sexually involved with her? Aren't you scared of getting herpes? And 30 men... holy shit. Sorry dude, but she just sounds like a total whore. And talking to her ex?... crossing the line.

[Hannah]

If she makes you happy and you make her happy then just give it a try. Attempt to have a conversation about your problems, but don't try to change her, it won't work. Just discuss the way you feel and she can talk to her friends about you sometimes. You say that you are the cause of several problems, well, then just tell her that you feel that way, but, no don't break up with her if you make each other happy. Just try to have a good old conversation and ask why she hasn't mentioned you to her friends and that it makes you uncomfortable. That's all i have to say for now. Good luck.