My partner does nothing all day. What can I say to her?

[Carl]

I live with my girlfriend and we have two children together (Ages 1 and 2). I work 50 to 60 hours a week but she is unemployed. While I am at work, she does practically nothing around the house. If we're low on an essential item (break, milk, toilet paper etc) she won't go to the shop 2 mins walk from the house, nor will she text me so I can get some on the way home from work. She does no housework, she only washes clothes when I the pile in front of the washing machine gets too big for her to climb over, when I get home from work she rarely has any dinner ready for me and even when she does it's a ready-meal which has been thrown in the microwave for 3 minutes. This actually took a toll on my health a few months ago, I was diagnosed with an irregular heartbeat due to low vitamin levels in my blood. It's now less than a week before Christmas and a few weeks ago she went on and on at me because we didn't have many Christmas decorations to put up so I spent £55 (about US$100) and even right now they are still in the shopping bags because she hasn't bothered to put them up while I'm at work. Whenever I confront her over these things she just starts yelling at me that she's been "looking after the kids ALL day" but when I ask her what that means, apart from changing nappies, making bottles, playing with them etc, she just goes into a frenzy of bad language about her idea of me giving up my job to stay at home with her. While I'm at work I'm always get notifications on my phone that she's updated her status on Facebook, uploaded this picture, invited me to this game, sent me that, commented on so-and-so's status etc etc so it's not as i. I'm not expecting her to do everything but just something would help. I work in Retail Management so I am standing up and walking about all day and now it's getting close to Christmas (busiest time of the retail year!) I'm working 55 hours a week over 6 days for the past 8 weeks so by the time I get home I am too tired to do all the housework as well. Even on my day off I feel exhausted because I end up doing as much around the house as I can. Am I being unreasonable, selfish or controlling for expecting her to do just basic chores around the house? By the way, she doesn't work, never had a job and has no intention of going to college or getting a job either!
I'd also like to add that I support her financially 100%. She receives Child Benefit but this ends up being spent on two expensive contract phones she foolishly signed up for "because she couldn't decide whether to have a blackberry or an iphone".

[Ben Cope]

Look being a mother is hard job so give her some slack. But don't get angry at her. That is the worst thing to do. Just say this. "I wanna have a future with you. I want to make that future happen ,but I can't do it alone. So can you help build a future together? You and me?" If she says no than she isn't a very good partner so what you do from their is your call but i hope it all works out for you.

[david b]

Carl,

You aren't expecting too much from your partner. I think however that she may be overwhelmed by having two small children and is having a difficult time coping with the situation. That would explain why she spends so much time on the computer, etc. It's almost like a person that uses drugs or alcohol to try to escape their life situation.

I think that the best thing the two of you can do would be to go for some counseling once the busy time of the holidays has passed. You both need a professional to teach you the tools to cope with your relationship. She needs the most help obviously, but I'm sure your positive support will make a big difference in how long it takes for her to get on the right track.