how to deal with a cold teenager?

[i_am_useful]

I have a friend who is father to a 15 year old teenager he tells me he's having a problem with. It's simply this: the teen is "simply too good"... but up to a point and not a hair beyond. Examples:

1) Kid is deliberately keeping his average at a straight 2.5, puts in the effort needed to survive a weak course with a C, but refuses to go
the extra mile to write an A even on favorite subjects.

2) Kid is not joining sports, clubs, extra-curricular activities, or even making friends.

3) Kid is required to attend church but when present only stands or sits, refusing to sing or pray, not that he's even been known to sing outside of church either.

4) Kid keeps his room absolutely neat. Volunteers for other house chores... and then some. According to father "kid says washing dishes and scrubbing floors relaxes him".

5) Kid HATES television and does not like computer gaming. His favorite form of entertainment is reading books about history borrowed from the nearby public library. Being grounded is not a punishment for him. Not that he's ever done ANYTHING to be
grounded in years.

6) Kid is formally polite to his parents but will not relax or smile around them. Kid has told parents he does not love them at all, but he will obey them and cause no trouble because "he has no other recourse at his age and the most logical thing is to simply wait three more years until his life actually begins." His words.

7) Fearing drugs or alcohol, kid's room and entire house has been checked repeatedly. Nothing. All time is accounted for. He's either at school or at home. There's not even a minute of extra time when he could even DO anything for which he can get into trouble.

Basically, the dad is telling me his child is going out of his way to being a cold bastard to his parents and wants it to stop. But how?
Father did ask kid why he doesn't love him or his mother. Answer: "I do not have the capacity to love." Asked if he loved himself, the answer was: "No."

[977]

smart kid, but love is needed. it starts with the parents with each other and to the kids.


On another note: Try your best. Love like you never love before. This is the best way for love to come and start surrounding your life. May love be around you, through you and is you.
Love and the Good Life will come
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