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Warren · 02-19-2014, 12:30 PM

Ok, 2 years ago my wife cheated on me. She went to a class renuion, and secretly met up with her highschool sweet heart. I caught her when she came home through emails that she was having with the guy. I confronted her about it, She told me that the only kissed in the car and held hands. I was a mess, I confronted the guy, he was apologetic and told me he that they only kissed and held hands. It took time for me to heal from this even going through some suicidal actions, and its 2 years later. I have recovered from everything, and my trust was built back up.

Until I deployed. I checked her facebook and its everyday that she checks on his profile (Wife and his profile combined). Her Iphone links up to the Icloud which we share, so Ive seen that she wrote down the number to the guys bestfriend, and then immediately deleted it off her Notes on the Icloud. I was really steaming mad in afghanistan, but I was going to confront her immediatley when i got home.,

When I returned home from my deployment, i showed her my dissappointment and confronted her about the facebook and Phone number incident. I told her I wanted to clear my mind and not be around her for a second. So i stayed in a coworkers place temporary. While she was at work, i stopped by the house to get clothes, and notice she left the computer open....and her email..I found out 2 years ago she Had sex with the guy...Now a couple of days a way is now turned into a month. I do care for her but I cant get over the lie and the sex part...she has reopen the wound...I dont know what to think or do, I want to start a new life (we have no kids), she claims shes going to commit suicide and even destroyed stuff in the house in front me when i go to talk to her. I spent 2 years of my life trying to rebuild trust on a lie..

With all the stress on leaving her she had a mini stroke, I feel guilty about what happen, but she is doing fine and recovering, she is severly depressed, but I know i cant go back for these reasons, i just dont know what to do...Please any advice is great advice

vulcan_alex · 02-19-2014, 12:32 PM

Move on you can't trust her and you are not responsible for her emotional issues. Good that there are no children and I hope you don't get hooked into paying for her life for a long time.

Jimmie · 02-19-2014, 12:33 PM

Dump her a$$ sounds like she still wants him

Cat · 02-19-2014, 12:37 PM

What if the two of you agreed to go to a marriage councilor to get a unbiased person who is knowledgable.
It seems like you both still love each other....just need to get past this hurdle.

But if she is still in touch with this guy, or still searching him out through his friends and Facebook...then I would just have to walk away.

Can't rebuild trust if she isn't.

Curious Cat · 02-19-2014, 12:41 PM

She can't be trusted, the damage can't be undone. Live your life brother and don't look back.

Kurt · 02-19-2014, 12:46 PM

Dump the whore. Next!

Stacey · 02-19-2014, 12:53 PM

Leave the lady. Move on. She broke your heart, and doesnt even care? Well why dont you leave her, and see how she feels after THAT.

Trololo · 02-19-2014, 12:55 PM

Leave her, she doesn't cherish you.

Harrison · 02-19-2014, 12:59 PM

You were reacting normally and had nothing to do with the stroke. So no guilt there.

Better support her as any person you care for, but move on as far as the marriage goes.

deligeez · 02-19-2014, 01:04 PM

Dude, women are the best in using a man's weakness. I've been through all what you said, except it was me breaking all the stuff. I know how you feel, you have to toughen up man or it will get to you mentally and physically. If a woman loved you she won't sleep with another guy, its that simple and the fact that you have no kids is a plus. Imagine she pulls another stunt while you have kid together, then what? The kid will suffer all its life and you would have to start from scratch with all this baggage.

Every time I brought up the issue my ex, she would fall and cry, holding her chest like she's having a heart attack , so I decided to let it slide multiple times, well everything went back to normal for a while until I saw her email account (new one she created), it was conversation she had with another guy and it was graphic in nature (if you meet my ex you would think she's an angel lol), well I ended it. 2 years later I meet my wife and love of my life and I have a beautiful daughter and I'm happy. In the end it's up to you, can't tell you what the future holds, only you can make the choice.