What's wrong with me?

[.:SchitMint:.]

Ever since I was little, I recall always being pessimistic. Now looking back, I was a very depressed child. I'm still very depressed and I am reaching a record-breaking low for myself. [I'm 17 now]. However, I am confused. There is nothing around my environment to make me this depressed. My childhood was relatively normal. I mean, I had a broken family, but who doesn't right? I guess I was ignored a lot as kid, but smothered at the same.. How the hell does that happen? I mean, I was never a normal sized kid, always the Chubster, but I wasn't THAT bullied to have it scar me like this...It's probably people. I can't stand them. Yet, I can't stay away from them. But why do I hate myself so much? It's amazing how a person can HATE oneself. I day dream about dying, I contemplate suicide, I plan out dropping hints for my family. I find myself binging on food and then starving myself- fail then cut.
I utterly hate my appearance, my every move, every word that comes out of my mouth.. I"m in an endless cycle of hate and hurting, but why?? Am I alone here? Where does so much hate and anger and sadness come from?? What's wrong with me?