Jealous, insecure, controlling boyfriend?

[needadvice.quick]

So i'm 20 and I'm dating a boy online, hes usually really sweet but one day another boy was flirting with me online and everything changed. I told my boyfriend what happened, but he called me a liar and claimed that I was hiding things and flirting with other guys. He broke up with me, and I didn't speak to him for a little while. In that while I found out through a friend he'd been self-harming. I contacted him to make sure he was ok and we got back together.
Now, he has my facebook password, while I have nothing of his and is making me tell him everything I do, everyone I talk to and send him every facebook conversation i have. Although we're back together, he's still suspicious and accuses me of hiding things.
Recently, he told me to tell everyone about us dating, even people who I'm uncomfortable telling.

I feel like i'm jeopardizing other people's privacy and my own He was suicidal before, and trust issues since he's cheated on and lied to many times. I don't want to break up with him because I really him and I don't want him self-harming.

[me]

This just sounds like some seriously unnecessary drama. You're not even dating this guy in real life, let's be serious. He's not much of a catch and is a hypocritical, controlling jerk. You know this. You just don't want to be alone hence why you're wasting your time on some douche who doesn't even live near you

C'mon, being single is better than that sh*t...

[justice]

You really need to talk to him, and explain this to him.
Explain to him that he shouldn't self-harm, and then dive in for it.
A relationship is based off of trust-- If he cant trust you to be faithful (which I hope you are) then how would you be able to trust him?
Do what's best for you. I know it's difficult, but break up with him if that's what helps you. Give him a chance to change though.

[flyingtiggeruk]

You're making a rod for your back.

You may feel for him, but you're looking at a world of problems if he's behaving like this. He's not rational, he's overbearing and demanding. You can't let him use the blackmail of self harm to control your life.

[menykats]

First, change your Facebook password, and don't give the new password to him. Then, block him from your account so that he can't see anything that your friends might post on your Timeline or on your Newsfeed page.

[lovebird]

My mom was married to someone like this. It made her absolutely crazy. The best thing for you to do is to get the hell out of that relationship. This is not a healthy relationship for you, and you deserve better. Sorry, but in this situation your happiness comes first, even if it means that he's suicidal (call 1-800-273-8255 if he does do something). The fact that there are trust issues says A LOT about your relationship. Don't be naive saying that breaking up isn't an option. Talking things out could be worse if he didn't listen to you the first time.

[Hugo]

I would say break-up with him but since he self harms, thats a bad idea. Just tell him to stop being so insecure and suspicious, like tell him that he's overreacting and needs to chill out, make promises to him, say that you feel hurt that he doesnt trust you. Find ways of convincing him to trust you. Hope I helped good luck

[Dumbazz Intolerant]

Stop talking to this guy. He is a controlling psycho. Break up with him, it will never work out. He probably won't even self-harm if you break up with him. He threatens to hurt himself because he knows it will upset you and make you come back to him. I have seen a lot of my friends get hurt because of controlling guys. They do the same crap your boyfriend does. They threaten suicide, self-harm, anything to get their way. This guy will never change and you don't want to be involved with someone like him.

[MM]

Staying with this guy is doing nothing to improve his trust issues, so why do you think you have any more control over or responsibility for his self-destructive impulses? You can't fix this by yourself or care more about his well-being and mental health than he does, and you can't have a relationship with someone who's more of a ticking time bomb than a partner. Try to get in contact with some people who know him in real life, or give him a hotline number like someone else suggested, or even call the police if you're convinced he's in imminent danger, but take back your privacy and your life and end this.

[randumguy]

Putting yourself through a relationship with a person that is self harming isn't good. What happens if you decide that he isn't the man for you? Then, what? Most likely he is going to hurt himself very badly. I don't want to be the bringer of bad news. However, you have to talk about self harming with him. You have to advise that he gets the right help that he needs. I can't tell you what you should do. However, if you do decide to break up you must be careful. You don't know how he is going to take it.