Am I in the wrong for spying?

[Carrie]

I am so in love with my husband, we have been married for 4 yrs now. I know he loves me and he's a good guy he never goes out to clubs and I don't really think he's cheating on me but he's done things to make me wonder and be paranoid that he might, like I've caught him talking to ex's and other girls on facebook nothing sexual but it still made me worried. I've even caught him doing that poke button to random girls. Anyways we've got in a lot of fights over it and he swears he never met up with anybody and he swears he's never cheated on me he even gave me all his passwords. But I still worry so to ease my mind I put easy logger on his phone it records all his calls and texts. It's a free app so I'm not paying to spy and it actually works great. I mainly did it to stop worrying. It's only been a couple days so I haven't seen anything yet and I don't really expect to, I'm actually trying to prove to myself that he's not cheating... Is this wrong of me?
I honestly wouldn't care if he spied on my phone because I know I don't have anything to hide
And so what u guys are say is that it's ok for someone to communicate with their ex's and flirt with other women online when they're married even if it hurts their wife? And makes her crazy? Then she's in the wrong for worrying and spying?

[stewsgal]

How would you feel if he was doing this to you?

[sl1foru]

Have you gone mad! Your husband have givivng you passwords and access to things and you still want to find things for what. If you dont trust him why are you with him anyway. I can see if he cheated on you before but he hasnt. An now you installed an app on his phone. I would wish never bad on anybody but you keep digging you gona find something you dont want then what you gona do. I cant deal with insecure women thats your problem you need to deal with on your own go see a therapist.

[Katie]

Wrong? That depends on what your husband thinks of your behavior. Are you insecure? Yes. Could you be guaranteeing that what you are looking for will happen? Possibly.

He may very well think as long as you think he is cheating he might as well cheat.

You aren't in love - you are obsessed with controlling this man. I'm surprised he doesn't wear blinders when he's out in pubic so he doesn't look at other women by mistake. Or does he wear blinders?

Your insecurity is going to drive him away.

[Kurt]

Yes, you are wrong to do this. Normal, healthy relationships are built on trust. If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship. Why are you even married to him? I would not spend a minute of my life with someone who I didn't trust.

[Shih Tzu]

This is disgusting. You, or no one else, has the right to spy on another person. You could be arrested for invasion of privacy. You have no dignity and I hope you get caught.

[Michael]

Spying on him means you do not trust him; thus there is trusting issues in your marriage. If he knows you are spying on him, you are only driving him further away, it isn't a good feeling to be under the spouses thumb every minute of the day.

Instead of spying on his every move, how about approaching the problem constructively. I don't mean it in a way that would cause a huge argument, don't accuse him of anything that you have no proof of, such as cheating. Only discuss the facts that you know, and express your concerns. Accusations only leads to arguments. However, a conversation needs to take place.

Something may not be right in your marriage, there are many issues as to why many marriages fail. Listen to his concerns and make sure your concerns are heard as well. Open communication and understanding is the key to any happy marriage. However, it takes two people who seriously want a happy marriage to succeed.

There is a lot of hard work to have a healthy marriage, it means trust, compromising, listening and communicating. I wish you luck and best wishes........

[KymLB]

Carrie, you are wrong. Spying is wrong. You are not confident in your marriage or with your husband. You say, "I haven't seen anything yet and I don't really expect to" but you still spy. That makes your statement a lie. You are lying to yourself so it will be hard to see your wrong here.

[no mercy]

this is NOT ok to talk to exes and other women if it hurts u. but it is never ok to spy on him either. what re u going to achieve by doing this? what u don't know can not hurt u. anywho, a GROWN UP people would handle it this way:
you: I do not like u talking to your ex and other women on facebook. I am sure u won't cheat on me but I do not like u wasting your time on talking to them, it is not loyal to me. I prefer u to roll in bed and talk to me instead.
him: ok, baby, I did not know my actions hurt u. I will delete my facebook account and block my ex's number and email
this is how GROWN UP and mature people handle things: u inform your partner that his actions are hurtful to u and he decides he does not want to hurt u so he stops (of course be reasonable with your demands). but if u tell him him talking to other women is unpleasant for u and he tries to justify his behaviour and does not stop and u start spying on him - totally wrong on so many levels

[sheloves_dablues]

Yes. It IS ok for a person to talk to their ex. It IS ok to talk to other people online. Yes. Even if they're married. Yes, even if their wife is a paranoid (your word, not mine...).

Yes, spying is wrong.