I can't do my school work?

[Izabella]

I know what you're thinking... "Yes you can, there's nothing stopping you." And I know that. I know that if I really wanted to, I could. But the problem is I'm far too depressed to do it. It's not that I'm lazy or I don't want to. I do want to. I want to have a good life and a decent salary. I don't want to be on the streets or living in a shitty apartment by myself, struggling to pay the rent off of minimum wage and mooching off of my parents.

I do online school. I was bullied for years in traditional schooling. I've been to numerous different schools, and I somehow always manage to fuck it up. I don't know if it's my pessimistic demeanor or my social anxiety and paranoia, but no one ever liked me. I was just that girl who sat in the back of the class that everyone made fun of and spread countless rumors about. I couldn't handle doing school work in an environment where literally nobody wanted to associate with me.

Every time I open school work, I look at it and I just get so overwhelmed with thoughts of failure and wanting to just give up. I look at all the words and they just jumble up into one until I can't even fucking think anymore. It's gotten to the point that I have anxiety attacks every morning I wake up to attempt at school.

I have one friend out of all the people I know, who I really don't think is my friend at all. She left her Facebook messages open while she was at my house and I saw my name, so I went through them. I know that's quite nosy but I can't help it, I'm insecure and paranoid as hell. She was talking to these girls we both know, and when they asked why she was staying over at my house, her exact words were "She has problems, I'm just trying to help her." Which leads me to believe everyone who has ever been my friend just feels bad for me, so don't ask me to seek help from my friends.

I've tried therapy. I've gone through countless therapists, actually. None of them really seemed to help my problem or really knew what they were talking about at all. I had one therapist though, I really liked him. I liked coming to talk to him every Thursday and blabbing about my online boyfriend or how annoying my siblings are, that I went to the grocery yesterday, or I fed a stray puppy. About three months after I started seeing him, I attempted suicide and he told me that he wasn't helping me, even though he was. I was doing fairly alright in school, (C's and D's, they're back to F's now) and I was a lot less pessimistic.

I feel like it's too late for me. I'm a sophomore in high school who's going to have to be held back another year. I feel like nothing is going to go right and that I've ruined my entire life. I feel so empty and lost.

I've always wanted to be a nurse. A few years ago I was thinking about going to CTC for nursing... But I think that you need fairly good grades for that and obviously those are something that I'm lacking. I've tried thinking about that career and my dream school, how doing well will be the only way to get to have what I want. I want to help people. I know that if I did end up going there then I'd be so distracted with studying something that I love, that I wouldn't even care about the fact that everyone around me disliked me with a burning passion. (For no reason, I should add.) But it's not like they'd give me a chance.

So I guess this turned into a really depressing and gloomy sob-story, and I'm sorry. The point is, how can I make myself focus better on school work? Where can I go for help? Are there any other options? My mom keeps telling me that I can't drop out, that I'm ruining my life, that using Google all day won't teach me anything. Honestly I don't know what to do. Tips?

[mariah]

I can really relate to this so i'll do the best i can. Im a junior and left my school a few months ago to start online school bc of my depression, anxiety, and another health issue. When I left I realize that none of my friends were really my friends and ive been alone since. With my school its self-paced and I really procrastinate. I honestly havent done a thing and everytime i go to do it i see how behind i am and just go on my phone... I'm starting to do at least a little and these are my tips:
1. Do it to prove everyone who thinks lowly of you wrong
2. Set small rewards after you finish an assignment
3. Make a dream board. Take pictures of everything u want to be (nurse for you) and hang it up as inspiration.

If your worried about your grades, most colleges mainly look at junior year grades. You could always start at community college and then transfer to a better one with those grades.

I promise it gets better. I know u can do it, dont give up on your dreams

[Logan Richardson]

Well I'm going to spare you all the answers that people are going to tell you like:
-20 yrs from etc etc etc, school is important, so on and so on.

Really, I found myself in middle school very unmotivated to do work because in that specific year, I didnt have many friends because they all moved away. All I would do is go to school, sit in class, and do hw, very upsetting and it just got to me. All the people there we the "click" types where they out cast anyone that isnt in their "friend group". A lot of them tried to make fun of me and it always seemed that people had it out for me when I did nothing wrong.
Time went by and I started to get into some online gaming with voice chat and made some easier, less judgemental friends that way. This gave me some motivation and I was overall happy and found it easier to do work, latter on in highschool it was easier to make friends and I was still happy and motivated. It was just getting through that big hump, let it be middleschool, high school or college, if you have someone to help you get through it like a friend, you'll find it a lot easier to be productive and just overall happier. Also, people who have the most mental and personal flaws problems like to make fun of others because if they didnt, their life would suck even more which would lead to them suiciding.

So all in all, I think you just might need a friend, that is possibly from a various source, to help you through your rough patch. So I'm not sure how much a guy from yahoo answers can do, but if you think it'll help, and if you reach out, I'll be the friend you need
_____________________________________________________________

One more thing, its not all over for you, and this is coming from somebody that doesnt even know you. But just listen, I tell this to all my friends and family who come across problems and even to myself when I'm down,

There is a solution to every problem in life, you just have to look hard enough for it.

Heres a cumulative example, since your getting bad grades, you can try a multitude of solutions such as fiverr, bonus', summer classes(so you dont have to take another year), and EVEN IF that fails, you can start to take online classes, my brother does this and I've done it before too. Online classes you dont have to wake up early, you just have do the work take the tests, and its easier to study for because you have the internet for 1, and for 2, its at your OWN pace, so maybe consider that as a backup plan. Plus doing that avoids all the asses in school.

But again, dont suicide and dont quit, and if you really wanna chat or just want someone to talk to just email me, (loganjrichardson25@gmail.com).

If I have the ability to help someone I want to at least try to do something, rather than sit by and watch. So again, dont be a stranger, when things look down just remember, to every obstacle in life there is a solution, and no suicide is not a solution.
So please, PLEASE, if you feel like your tempted to commit suicide or are feeling so overwhelmed, do not hesitate to email me, I dont usually, actually I've never given my email to someone on yahoo answers, but I feel that its for the better. You'd be very surprised at how much a simple (or complex) conversation can do.