How important is it to you to find your biological parents?

[Heather B]

It's an individual's choice. It was very important to me to know the truth of my origins. I didn't like starting life at chapter two. I wanted to know my roots just like thousands of others who make genealogy one of the most popular hobbies today!

It seemed impossible but, after searching for 20 years I finally found and couldn't be happier.

[Emma Monsters Mama]

My biological mother is my mom, but my dad isn't my biological father. To tell you the truth, I don't really even have the want to find him. He's not on my to do list with my life. The dad I have has been wonderful to me. The dad I was suppose to have abandoned me, so why should I want to find him? Of course, I get curious sometimes, but I've never searched for him, and I doubt I ever will.

[Lori A]

Not impossible for all. I've been in reunion for 9 years with my daughter who thought it was important enough to search.

[Diedra*[Due Oct.]]

well it was pretty important to me to find my biological father . i thought it would fill the void in my life . i ended up finding him through myspace & things didn't turn out as i expected them to . he actually never even tried to look for me & as soon as his wife stepped in to say something he got this huge attitude . well that was almost a year ago , i figured out that the strong father figure i needed was beside me all along giving me support thru looking for him & watching out for me & my feelings . i never actually met him but im sure that if i did , i woulda ended saying some mean things . p.s - i never held a grudge over anything he did , leaving my mom , never coming to see me etc . . & i always kept a positive attitude about him wether people would talk bad about him or not . i dont exactly feel any love for he guy & as far as i'm concerned , my unborn child already has a grandfather , & i have a father to walk me down the aisle , wether he's my real dad or not what im worried about .

[Laura]

i found my birth parents and it was so weird..they really wanted to be a proper family with me but it was too weird..they were strangers to me.

[Ranchmom1]

It was really important to me. In finding my first mom, I learned I'd never be able to find my biological dad and I'm sad about that, but I'm glad I do know my biological mom. It has filled in a lot of holes I didn't even know I had.

[amyhpete]

It's not impossible. In many states, if you're over 18 and you write a real, snail mail letter to the adoption agency, they will at least keep your letter on file and if the bio-family also writes a letter they will arrange a meeting.

I don't regret finding my bio-mom, but it does hurt that she won't give me a real answer about my bio-dad, and that she never really did want a relationship with adult me. Most bio-moms are grieving the loss of a relationship with a baby and the loss of opportunity to raise a child. However, once in reunion, it's very difficult to come out and say that.

My bio-mom is consistent only in her playing hot and cold emotional games with me.

I have known many adult adoptees whose reunions have gone the same way.

Just a caution to others that while most reunions have the moment of the Oprah-esque tearful hug, the aftermath requires working through a lot of emotions.