What's the best way to tell my girlfriend she's fat?

[Paul B.]

Did you happen to look at this guy's *other* posts?

[Th Tuff Stuff]

Okay listen to me. The Facebook post is a great start. But, she is probably in denial so you will have to very delicately approach her with such a touchy subject.

The first thing you need to do is put some hidden cameras in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, car, and the local Denny's. Edit all of that footage into a video of nothing but her eating hot dogs and Dairy Queen wild buffalo chicken strip baskets. You won't have to leave the cameras on long. Just a day or two and you should have plenty of video (at least fourteen hours).

Next you should gather all of her shirts that are covered with gravy stains (probably all of them) and... actually... never mind. Just wake her up by yelling through a megaphone that she is fat.