Is it weird to have a reception weeks after you get married?

[quietmice976]

No, not at all.

The traditional rule was that a reception should be held within four weeks of the wedding unless extenuating circumstances make it impossible. Nowadays up to eight weeks is acceptable. If extenuating circumstances such as a death in the family, deployment, overseas employment, or a health emergency make even that impossible, the reception may be held even later, but four months is about your maximum. (Not to say that you can't have a party in that circumstance; you just call it a party and not a reception.)

It's called a "reception" because it's where you "receive" your guests as a married couple for the first time. You therefore can't have a reception if you've hosted any kind of party for your friends and family as a married couple beforehand.

[Lovely Bride]

That's what we're doing. We're having a tiny ceremony with close family, and then a "reception" afterward. It's really just a party celebrating our marriage. However, it'll only be about a week after the wedding.

I really didn't want to have one, because I didn't want people to think we were just after gifts...but actually, the guests were the ones that insisted we have it. After tons of people calling and asking why we wouldn't have one, we finally gave in.

It was really heart warming to see how much people cared about us even though they knew we couldn't really afford a big wedding that they could all come to.

[Mrs. St. Evens]

This is not weird at all. My husband and I actually had two receptions. We had one on our wedding day for the people who were able to attend our wedding and then we had another one in my husband's home town with all of the people who were unable to come to the actual wedding about 3 weeks later.
It's nice to do a reception that everyone can attend, and this seems to be becoming more and more of the norm for people.

[Tiffster]

I don't think its weird. Some people might feel offended that they weren't invited to the actual ceremony, but what you could do to make them feel included is do the ring ceremony or do another ring ceremony at the reception.

[My thoughts]

Uncommon, yes. Weird, no.

[aspasia]

It is neither wierd nor in poor taste. It is, however, unusual; and therefore you must take care that your intentions are not misunderstood.

A "reception" is simply a social occasion for admitting persons and providing them with shelter and refreshments. In the long-ago days before facebook and "C.S.I", people used to go to receptions for the simple pleasure of socializing with one another. They especially liked to hang around and socialize after events like weddings that had already brought them together to watch the ceremony; but that didn't stop them from having them at other times, too.

In fact, an "at Home" reception by the new couple immediately following their wedding trip was an expected occurrence. It was how the new bride introduced herself to society as a social hostess. But if your home isn't big enough for an "at Home" reception the generosity inherent in renting a hall and providing food and drink so that your friends can enjoy one anothers' company is still a generous act on your part.

You must remember, though, that you are *hosts* and not guests of honour. You are newlyweds, but not "the bride and groom". Act accordingly. For example, serve your guests cake -- from an elegant multi-tiered cake by all means! -- but don't make them stop their conversations to watch your husband and you feed one another the first bite! Dance if you like, even dancing first with your husband for a few measures to open the floor, but don't go through a series of showcase dances of "the bride and her father", "the groom and his mother", "the bride's second cousin once removed and the celebrant's godson" and so on. If you must have toasts, toast your guests rather than having them toast you (and, of course, don't expect guests to travel for such an event -- people travel for the ceremony but a party after the fact is a strictly local event).

With a little social acumen you can make your reception a lovely event and leave your guests looking forward to your next party. And that is the point of such receptions: to maintain the social ties that enrich life and keep your community healthy and interacting. Any "rules" that discourage such pleasant entertainments are not only made up, but frankly anti-social. You really are entitled to give as many parties over the next five or six decades as a married lady, as you have the resources to give. And may you be very happy, and enjoy every one.

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